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Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English) by Linux fortune

        [I plan] to see, hear, touch, and destroy everything in my path,
including beets, rutabagas, and most random vegetables, but excluding yams,
as I am absolutely terrified of yams...
        Actually, I think my fear of yams began in my early youth, when many
of my young comrades pelted me with same for singing songs of far-off lands
and deep blue seas in a language closely resembling that of the common sow.
My psychosis was further impressed into my soul as I reached adolescence,
when, while skipping through a field of yams, light-heartedly tossing flowers
into the stratosphere, a great yam-picking machine tore through the fields,
pursuing me to the edge of the great plantation, where I escaped by diving
into a great ditch filled with a mixture of water and pig manure, which may
explain my tendency to scream, "Here come the Martians!  Hide the eggs!" every
time I have pork.  But I digress.  The fact remains that I cannot rationally
deal with yams, and pigs are terrible conversationalists.
A pig is a jolly companion,
Boar, sow, barrow, or gilt --
A pig is a pal, who'll boost your morale,
Though mountains may topple and tilt.
When they've blackballed, bamboozled, and burned you,
When they've turned on you, Tory and Whig,
Though you may be thrown over by Tabby and Rover,
You'll never go wrong with a pig, a pig,
You'll never go wrong with a pig!
                -- Thomas Pynchon, "Gravity's Rainbow"
If you sow your wild oats, hope for a crop failure.
I:
        The best way to make a silk purse from a sow's ear is to begin
        with a silk sow.  The same is true of money.
II:
        If today were half as good as tomorrow is supposed to be, it would
        probably be twice as good as yesterday was.
III:
        There are no lazy veteran lion hunters.
IV:
        If you can afford to advertise, you don't need to.
V:
        One-tenth of the participants produce over one-third of the output.
        Increasing the number of participants merely reduces the average
        output.
                -- Norman Augustine
No guarantee of accuracy or completeness!
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