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Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English) by Linux fortune

Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations

        Sign on a cabin door of a Soviet Black Sea cruise liner:
                Helpsavering apparata in emergings behold many whistles!
                Associate the stringing apparata about the bosums and meet
                behind, flee then to the indifferent lifesaveringshippen
                obedicing the instructs of the vessel.

        On the door in a Belgrade hotel:
                Let us know about any unficiency as well as leaking on
                the service. Our utmost will improve it.

                -- Colin Bowles
Some of you ... may have decided that, this year, you're going to celebrate
it the old-fashioned way, with your family sitting around stringing
cranberries and exchanging humble, handmade gifts, like on "The Waltons".
Well, you can forget it.  If everybody pulled that kind of subversive stunt,
the economy would collapse overnight.  The government would have to
intervene: it would form a cabinet-level Department of Holiday Gift-Giving,
which would spend billions and billions of tax dollars to buy Barbie dolls
and electronic games, which it would drop on the populace from Air Force
jets, killing and maiming thousands.  So, for the good of the nation, you
should go along with the Holiday Program.  This means you should get a large
sum of money and go to a mall.
                -- Dave Barry, "Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide"
No guarantee of accuracy or completeness!
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