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Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English) by Linux fortune

If you want to understand your government, don't begin by reading the
Constitution.  It conveys precious little of the flavor of today's
statecraft.  Instead, read selected portions of the Washington telephone
directory containing listings for all the organizations with titles
beginning with the word "National."
                -- George Will
beta test, v:
        To voluntarily entrust one's data, one's livelihood and one's
        sanity to hardware or software intended to destroy all three.
        In earlier days, virgins were often selected to beta test volcanos.
The Modelski Chain Rule:
(1)        Look intently at the problem for several minutes.  Scratch your
        head at 20-30 second intervals.  Try solving the problem on your
        Hewlett-Packard.
(2)        Failing this, look around at the class.  Select a particularly
        bright-looking individual.
(3)        Procure a large chain.
(4)        Walk over to the selected student and threaten to beat him severely
        with the chain unless he gives you the answer to the problem.
        Generally, he will.  It may also be a good idea to give him a sound
        thrashing anyway, just to show you mean business.
A book is the work of a mind, doing its work in the way that a mind deems
best.  That's dangerous.  Is the work of some mere individual mind likely to
serve the aims of collectively accepted compromises, which are known in the
schools as 'standards'?  Any mind that would audaciously put itself forth to
work all alone is surely a bad example for the students, and probably, if
not downright antisocial, at least a little off-center, self-indulgent,
elitist.  ... It's just good pedagogy, therefore, to stay away from such
stuff, and use instead, if film-strips and rap-sessions must be
supplemented, 'texts,' selected, or prepared, or adapted, by real
professionals.  Those texts are called 'reading material.'  They are the
academic equivalent of the 'listening material' that fills waiting-rooms,
and the 'eating material' that you can buy in thousands of convenient eating
resource centers along the roads.
                -- The Underground Grammarian
When you know absolutely nothing about the topic, make your forecast by
asking a carefully selected probability sample of 300 others who don't
know the answer either.
                -- Edgar R. Fiedler
        "I thought you were trying to get into shape."
        "I am. The shape I've selected is a triangle."
You have been selected for a secret mission.
=======================================================================
||                                                                     ||
|| The FORTUNE-COOKIE program is soon to be a Major Motion Picture!  ||
||           Watch for it at a theater near you next summer!             ||
||                                                                     ||
=======================================================================
        Francis Ford Coppola presents a George Lucas Production:
                        "Fortune Cookie"
        Directed by Steven Spielberg.
        Starring  Harrison Ford  Bette Midler  Marlon Brando
                  Christopher Reeves  Marilyn Chambers
                  and Bob Hope as "The Waiter".
        Costumes Designed by Pierre Cardin.
        Special Effects by Timothy Leary.
        Read the Warner paperback!
        Invoke the Unix program!
        Soundtrack on XTC Records.
        In 70mm and Dolby Stereo at selected theaters and terminal
                centers.
Red Hat Unveils New Ad Campaign

Linux distributor Red Hat has announced plans for a $650,000 ad campaign. The
ads will appear on several major newspapers as well as on a few selected
websites. "These ads will be targetted towards Windows users who are fed up but
aren't aware of any OS alternatives," a Red Hat spokesman said. "We feel that
there is a large audience for this."

One of the ads will be a half page spread showing two computers side-by-side: a
Wintel and a Linux box. The title asks "Is your operating system ready for the
year 2000?" Both computers have a calendar/clock display showing. The Windows
box shows "12:00:01AM -- January 1, 1900" while the Linux box shows "12:00:01AM
-- January 1, 2000". The tagline at the bottom says "Linux -- a century ahead
of the competition."
Boys, you have ALL been selected to LEAVE th' PLANET in 15 minutes!!
I selected E5 ... but I didn't hear "Sam the Sham and the Pharoahs"!
No guarantee of accuracy or completeness!
©TU Chemnitz, 2006-2024
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