Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English) | by Linux fortune |
The characteristic property of hallucinogens, to suspend the boundaries between the experiencing self and the outer world in an ecstatic, emotional experience, makes it posible with their help, and after suitable internal and external perparation...to evoke a mystical experience according to plan, so to speak... I see the true importance of LSD in the possibility of providing materail aid to meditation aimed at the mystical experience of a deeper, comprehensive reality. Such a use accords entirely with the essence and working character of LSD as a sacred drug. - Dr. Albert Hoffman, the discoverer of LSD | |
Once there was a marine biologist who loved dolphins. He spent his time trying to feed and protect his beloved creatures of the sea. One day, in a fit of inventive genius, he came up with a serum that would make dolphins live forever! Of course he was ecstatic. But he soon realized that in order to mass produce this serum he would need large amounts of a certain compound that was only found in nature in the metabolism of a rare South American bird. Carried away by his love for dolphins, he resolved that he would go to the zoo and steal one of these birds. Unbeknownst to him, as he was arriving at the zoo an elderly lion was escaping from its cage. The zookeepers were alarmed and immediately began combing the zoo for the escaped animal, unaware that it had simply lain down on the sidewalk and had gone to sleep. Meanwhile, the marine biologist arrived at the zoo and procured his bird. He was so excited by the prospect of helping his dolphins that he stepped absentmindedly stepped over the sleeping lion on his way back to his car. Immediately, 1500 policemen converged on him and arrested him for transporting a myna across a staid lion for immortal porpoises. | |
Don't get too ecstatic, we all know what's going to happen next. This so-called trial is rigged, just like wrestling and boxing. Microsoft is the Don King of the software industry... they control who wins. I've been told that if you call Microsoft's legal department hotline, you get a recorded messages that says, "For the verdicts of past Microsoft court cases, press 1. For the verdicts of future Microsoft court cases, press 2..." -- Anonymous Coward's response to Judge Jackson's harsh Findings Of Fact against Microsoft | |
Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Microsoft Shareholder's Children? The Evil Monopoly will soon be a duopoly of MICROS~1 and MICROS~2 now that Judge Jackson has made his ruling. Geeks everywhere are shedding tears of joy, while Microsoft investors are shedding real tears. But not everybody is ecstatic about the ruling. "It dawned on me today that if Microsoft is broken up, we won't have anyone to bash anymore. We can have that," said Rob Graustein, the founder of the new "Save Microsoft Now! Campaign". Rob continued, "I know what you're thinking! I have not been assimilated... er, hired... by Microsoft. I'm not crazy. I haven't been paid off. My life as a geek revolves around bashing Microsoft. I mean, I own the world's largest collection of anti-Microsoft T-shirts and underwear. It's time to take a stand against the elimination of Geek Enemy #1." Most observers agree that Mr. Graustein's brain has gone 404. "This guy is nuts! Support Microsoft? I can't believe I'm hearing this. Even fake news sites couldn't make up this kind of insanity." | |
UNobfuscated Perl Code Contest The Perl Gazette has announced the winners in the First Annual Unobfuscated Perl Code Contest. First place went to Edwin Fuller, who submitted this unobfuscated program: #!/usr/bin/perl print "Hello world!\n"; "This was definitely a challenging contest," said an ecstatic Edwin Fuller. "I've never written a Perl program before that didn't have hundreds of qw( $ @ % & * | ? / \ ! # ~ ) symbols. I really had to summon all of my programming skills to produce an unobfuscated program." ...The second place winner, Mrs. Sea Pearl, submitted the following code: #!/usr/bin/perl use strict; # Do nothing, successfully exit(0); | |
"Oops," Says MPAA President Recently, the United States filed a legal brief in support of the MPAA's argument that linking to the DeCSS source code is not protected by the First Amendment. At the time, the MPAA was ecstatic. But not any longer. The tables have turned: the Federal government has filed a lawsuit against the movie industry, arguing that many Hollywood-produced movies 'link' to illegal content. The MPAA is now desperately wrapping itself up in the Bill of Rights. "Murder is illegal. Showing a murder in a movie -- or, rather, 'linking' to it -- is also illegal," explained a spokesperson for the Coalition Of Angry Soccer Moms In Support Of Brow-Beating Movie Industry Executives, an interest group that has backed the government's lawsuit. | |
"I am ecstatic that some moron re-invented a 1995 windows fuckup." -- Alan Cox |