|Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English)||by Linux fortune|
|Jargon Coiner (#5)|
An irregular feature that aims to give you advance warning of new jargon
that we've just made up.
* DUKE OF URL: A person who publishes their Netscape bookmark file on
* WWWLIZE (pronounced wuh-wuh-wuh-lize): Habit of unconsciously appending
www. in front of URLs, even when it's not necessary.
* DUBYA-DUBYA-DUBYA: Common pronounciation of "double-u double-u double-u"
when orally specifying a wwwlized address.
* ADVOIDANCE: iding a particularly annoying advertising banner by dragging
another window over it, or by placing your hand on the monitor to cover
Example: "Bob advoided any Microsoft banners he came across."
|But I always fired into the nearest hill or, failing that, into blackness.|
I meant no harm; I just liked the explosions. And I was careful never to
kill more than I could eat.
-- Raoul Duke
|I just asked myself... what would John DeLorean do?|
-- Raoul Duke
Whilst marching from Portugal to a position which commands the
approach to Madrid and the French forces, my officers have been
diligently complying with your requests which have been sent by H.M. ship
from London to Lisbon and thence by dispatch to our headquarters.
We have enumerated our saddles, bridles, tents and tent poles,
and all manner of sundry items for which His Majesty's Government holds
me accountable. I have dispatched reports on the character, wit, and
spleen of every officer. Each item and every farthing has been accounted
for, with two regrettable exceptions for which I beg your indulgence.
Unfortunately the sum of one shilling and ninepence remains
unaccounted for in one infantry battalion's petty cash and there has been
a hideous confusion as the the number of jars of raspberry jam issued to
one cavalry regiment during a sandstorm in western Spain. This
reprehensible carelessness may be related to the pressure of circumstance,
since we are war with France, a fact which may come as a bit of a surprise
to you gentlemen in Whitehall.
This brings me to my present purpose, which is to request
elucidation of my instructions from His Majesty's Government so that I
may better understand why I am dragging an army over these barren plains.
I construe that perforce it must be one of two alternative duties, as
given below. I shall pursue either one with the best of my ability, but
I cannot do both:
1. To train an army of uniformed British clerks in Spain for the
benefit of the accountants and copy-boys in London or perchance:
2. To see to it that the forces of Napoleon are driven out of Spain.
-- Duke of Wellington, to the British Foreign Office,
|There are no manifestos like cannon and musketry.|
-- The Duke of Wellington
|They will only cause the lower classes to move about needlessly.|
-- The Duke of Wellington, on early steam railroads.