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Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English) by Linux fortune

Jargon Coiner (#8)

An irregular feature that aims to give you advance warning of new jargon
that we've just made up.

* STAR SPINOFFS: Applying themes and ideas from "Star Wars" and "Star
  Trek" to contemporary events.

  Examples: "Let the Source be with you!", "Microsoft is the Evil Empire",
  "Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated by Microsoft".

* TRADEMARKIZATION(tm): Giving a phrase special meaning by appending a
  trademark symbol to it.

  Examples: "Think Free Speech, Not Free Beer(tm)", "Real Soon Now(tm)",
  "Blue Screen of Death(tm)"
"The funny thing is if you actually read those papers, you find that, while the researchers were applying thier optomizational tricks on a microkernel, in fact those same tricks could be applied to traditional kernels to accelerate thier execution."

  -- Linus Torvalds on Microkernels (Open Sources, 1999 O'Reilly and Associates)
I forgot to mention an important fact in the 1.3.67 announcement. In order to
get a fully working kernel, you have to follow the steps below:
- Walk around your computer widdershins 3 times, chanting "Linus is
   overworked, and he makes lousy patches, but we love him anyway". Get
   your spuouse to do this too for extra effect.  Children are optional.
- Apply the patch included in this mail
- Call your system "Super-67", and don't forget to unapply the patch
   before you later applying the official 1.3.68 patch.
- reboot
        -- Linus Torvalds, announcing another kernel patch
        Home centers are designed for the do-it-yourselfer who's willing to
pay higher prices for the convenience of being able to shop for lumber,
hardware, and toasters all in one location.  Notice I say "shop for," as
opposed to "obtain." This is the major drawback of home centers: they are
always out of everything except artificial Christmas trees.  The home center
employees have no time to reorder merchandise because they are too busy
applying little price stickers to every object -- every board, washer, nail
and screw -- in the entire store ...

        Let's say a piece in your toilet tank breaks, so you remove the
broken part, take it to the home center, and ask an employee if he has a
replacement.  The employee, who has never is his life even seen the inside
of a toilet tank, will peer at the broken part in very much the same way
that a member of a primitive Amazon jungle tribe would look at an electronic
calculator, and then say, "We're expecting a shipment of these sometime
around the middle of next week."
                -- Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw"
"Our journeys to the stars will be made on spaceships created by determined,
hardworking scientists and engineers applying the principles of science, not
aboard flying saucers piloted by little gray aliens from some other dimension."
-- Robert A. Baker, "The Aliens Among Us:  Hypnotic Regression Revisited",
   The Skeptical Inquirer, Vol. XII, No. 2
No guarantee of accuracy or completeness!
©TU Chemnitz, 2006-2019
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