|Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English)||by Linux fortune|
|FORTUNE'S FAVORITE RECIPES: #8|
Christmas Rum Cake
1 or 2 quarts rum 1 tbsp. baking powder
1 cup butter 1 tsp. soda
1 tsp. sugar 1 tbsp. lemon juice
2 large eggs 2 cups brown sugar
2 cups dried assorted fruit 3 cups chopped English walnuts
Before you start, sample the rum to check for quality. Good, isn't it? Now
select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check the rum again. It
must be just right. Be sure the rum is of the highest quality. Pour one cup
of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat. With an electric
mixer, beat one cup butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 seaspoon of tugar
and beat again. Meanwhile, make sure the rum teh absolutely highest quality.
Sample another cup. Open second quart as necessary. Add 2 orge laggs, 2 cups
of fried druit and beat untill high. If the fried druit gets stuck in the
beaters, just pry it loose with a screwdriver. Sample the rum again, checking
for toncisticity. Next sift 3 cups of baking powder, a pinch of rum, a
seaspoon of toda and a cup of pepper or salt (it really doesn't matter).
Sample some more. Sift 912 pint of lemon juice. Fold in schopped butter and
strained chups. Add bablespoon of brown gugar, or whatever color you have.
Mix mell. Grease oven and turn cake pan to 350 gredees and rake until
poothtick comes out crean.
|[Norm tries to prove that he is not Anton Kreitzer.]|
Norm: Afternoon, everybody!
-- Cheers, The Two Faces of Norm
Woody: What's going on, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: A flashing sign in my gut that says, ``Insert beer here.''
-- Cheers, Call Me, Irresponsible
Sam: What can I get you, Norm?
Norm: [scratching his beard] Got any flea powder? Ah, just kidding.
Gimme a beer; I think I'll just drown the little suckers.
-- Cheers, Two Girls for Every Boyd
|"I am convinced that the manufacturers of carpet odor removing powder|
have included encapsulated time released cat urine in their products.
This technology must be what prevented its distribution during my mom's
reign. My carpet smells like piss, and I don't have a cat. Better go
buy some more."
|Why you say you no bunny rabbit when you have little powder-puff tail? |
-- The Tasmanian Devil
|"I am convinced that the manufacturers of carpet odor removing powder have |
included encapsulated time released cat urine in their products. This
technology must be what prevented its distribution during my mom's reign. My
carpet smells like piss, and I don't have a cat. Better go by some more."
-- timw@zeb.USWest.COM, in alt.conspiracy
"I sprinkled some baking powder over a couple of potatoes, but it