Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English) | by Linux fortune |
It BASICally Sucks Older versions of MS-DOS came with bundled programming languages including GW-BASIC and QBasic. Windows XP continues the Microsoft tradition of ruining budding programmers with horrible programming tools by including XPBasic, an interpreted language in which all of the customary BASIC keywords have been replaced with advertising slogans. Nike has paid a handsome amount to Microsoft for "keyword rights". Instead of saying PRINT "HELLO WORLD", XPBasic programmers must now type JUST DO IT "HELLO WORLD". Other common XPBasic statements include WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GOTO 20 TODAY? and DIM ARRAY(1 TO 20) AS INTEGER BROUGHT TO YOU BY VERIZON WIRELESS. -- from Humorix's review of Windows XP (eXceptionally Pathetic) | |
"...Earlier today a New York account executive was arrested for revealing an account or description of a Yankees baseball game without the prior written permission of Major League Baseball. The man has been turned over to MLB's parent company, Nike Sports Monopoly, for sentencing at the Nike SuperMax Prison in Albany..." -- Excerpt from a radio broadcast during the first day of the Month of Disney (formerly December), 2028 |