Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English) | by Linux fortune |
If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's read by persons who move their lips when the're reading to themselves. -- Don Marquis | |
My band career ended late in my senior year when John Cooper and I threw my amplifier out the dormitory window. We did not act in haste. First we checked to make sure the amplifier would fit through the frame, using the belt from my bathrobe to measure, then we picked up the amplifier and backed up to my bedroom door. Then we rushed forward, shouting "The WHO! The WHO!" and we launched my amplifier perfectly, as though we had been doing it all our lives, clean through the window and down onto the sidewalk, where a small but appreciative crowd had gathered. I would like to be able to say that this was a symbolic act, an effort on my part to break cleanly away from one state in my life and move on to another, but the truth is, Cooper and I really just wanted to find out what it would sound like. It sounded OK. -- Dave Barry, "The Snake" | |
heavy gravity fluctuation, move computer to floor rapidly | |
But this has taken us far afield from interface, which is not a bad place to be, since I particularly want to move ahead to the kludge. Why do people have so much trouble understanding the kludge? What is a kludge, after all, but not enough K's, not enough ROM's, not enough RAM's, poor quality interface and too few bytes to go around? Have I explained yet about the bytes? | |
Norbert Weiner was the subject of many dotty professor stories. Weiner was, in fact, very absent minded. The following story is told about him: when they moved from Cambridge to Newton his wife, knowing that he would be absolutely useless on the move, packed him off to MIT while she directed the move. Since she was certain that he would forget that they had moved and where they had moved to, she wrote down the new address on a piece of paper, and gave it to him. Naturally, in the course of the day, an insight occurred to him. He reached in his pocket, found a piece of paper on which he furiously scribbled some notes, thought it over, decided there was a fallacy in his idea, and threw the piece of paper away. At the end of the day he went home (to the old address in Cambridge, of course). When he got there he realized that they had moved, that he had no idea where they had moved to, and that the piece of paper with the address was long gone. Fortunately inspiration struck. There was a young girl on the street and he conceived the idea of asking her where he had moved to, saying, "Excuse me, perhaps you know me. I'm Norbert Weiner and we've just moved. Would you know where we've moved to?" To which the young girl replied, "Yes, Daddy, Mommy thought you would forget." The capper to the story is that I asked his daughter (the girl in the story) about the truth of the story, many years later. She said that it wasn't quite true -- that he never forgot who his children were! The rest of it, however, was pretty close to what actually happened... -- Richard Harter | |
Overconfidence breeds error when we take for granted that the game will continue on its normal course; when we fail to provide for an unusually powerful resource -- a check, a sacrifice, a stalemate. Afterwards the victim may wail, `But who could have dreamt of such an idiotic-looking move?' -- Fred Reinfeld, "The Complete Chess Course" | |
There was once a programmer who worked upon microprocessors. "Look at how well off I am here," he said to a mainframe programmer who came to visit, "I have my own operating system and file storage device. I do not have to share my resources with anyone. The software is self-consistent and easy-to-use. Why do you not quit your present job and join me here?" The mainframe programmer then began to describe his system to his friend, saying: "The mainframe sits like an ancient sage meditating in the midst of the data center. Its disk drives lie end-to-end like a great ocean of machinery. The software is a multi-faceted as a diamond and as convoluted as a primeval jungle. The programs, each unique, move through the system like a swift-flowing river. That is why I am happy where I am." The microcomputer programmer, upon hearing this, fell silent. But the two programmers remained friends until the end of their days. -- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming" | |
Thus spake the master programmer: "Without the wind, the grass does not move. Without software, hardware is useless." -- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming" | |
If I cannot bend Heaven, I shall move Hell. -- Publius Vergilius Maro (Virgil) | |
You can move the world with an idea, but you have to think of it first. | |
Purple hum Assorted cars Laser lights, you bring All to prove You're on the move and vanishing - The Cars | |
The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. -- Buckminster Fuller | |
The greatest disloyalty one can offer to great pioneers is to refuse to move an inch from where they stood. | |
They will only cause the lower classes to move about needlessly. -- The Duke of Wellington, on early steam railroads. | |
What a strange game. The only winning move is not to play. -- WOP, "War Games" | |
Bing's Rule: Don't try to stem the tide -- move the beach. | |
Committee Rules: (1) Never arrive on time, or you will be stamped a beginner. (2) Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this stamps you as being wise. (3) Be as vague as possible; this prevents irritating the others. (4) When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed. (5) Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you popular -- it's what everyone is waiting for. | |
Down-Nesting: The tendency of parents to move to smaller, guest-room-free houses after the children have moved away so as to avoid children aged 20 to 30 who have boomeranged home. -- Douglas Coupland, "Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated | |
Every time I think I know where it's at, they move it. | |
Q: How can you tell when a Burroughs salesman is lying? A: When his lips move. | |
New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move. -- David Letterman | |
You don't move to Edina, you achieve Edina. -- Guindon | |
But it does move! -- Galileo Galilei | |
"I have examined Bogota," he said, "and the case is clearer to me. I think very probably he might be cured." "That is what I have always hoped," said old Yacob. "His brain is affected," said the blind doctor. The elders murmured assent. "Now, what affects it?" "Ah!" said old Yacob. "This," said the doctor, answering his own question. "Those queer things that are called the eyes, and which exist to make an agreeable soft depression in the face, are diseased, in the case of Bogota, in such a way as to affect his brain. They are greatly distended, he has eyelashes, and his eyelids move, and cosequently his brain is in a state of constant irritation and distraction." "Yes?" said old Yacob. "Yes?" "And I think I may say with reasonable certainty that, in order to cure him completely, all that we need do is a simple and easy surgical operation -- namely, to remove those irritant bodies." "And then he will be sane?" "Then he will be perfectly sane, and a quite admirable citizen." "Thank heaven for science!" said old Yacob. -- H.G. Wells, "The Country of the Blind" | |
"I think the sky is blue because it's a shift from black through purple to blue, and it has to do with where the light is. You know, the farther we get into darkness, and there's a shifting of color of light into the blueness, and I think as you go farther and farther away from the reflected light we have from the sun or the light that's bouncing off this earth, uh, the darker it gets ... I think if you look at the color scale, you start at black, move it through purple, move it on out, it's the shifting of color. We mentioned before about the stars singing, and that's one of the effects of the shifting of colors." -- Pat Robertson, The 700 Club | |
Space tells matter how to move and matter tells space how to curve. -- Wheeler | |
While the engineer developed his thesis, the director leaned over to his assistant and whispered, "Did you ever hear of why the sea is salt?" "Why the sea is salt?" whispered back the assistant. "What do you mean?" The director continued: "When I was a little kid, I heard the story of `Why the sea is salt' many times, but I never thought it important until just a moment ago. It's something like this: Formerly the sea was fresh water and salt was rare and expensive. A miller received from a wizard a wonderful machine that just ground salt out of itself all day long. At first the miller thought himself the most fortunate man in the world, but soon all the villages had salt to last them for centuries and still the machine kept on grinding more salt. The miller had to move out of his house, he had to move off his acres. At last he determined that he would sink the machine in the sea and be rid of it. But the mill ground so fast that boat and miller and machine were sunk together, and down below, the mill still went on grinding and that's why the sea is salt." "I don't get you," said the assistant. -- Guy Endore, "Men of Iron" | |
In the early morning queue, With a listing in my hand. With a worry in my heart, There on terminal number 9, Waitin' here in CERAS-land. Pascal run all set to go. I'm a long way from sleep, But I'm waitin' in the queue, How I miss a good meal so. With this code that ever grows. In the early mornin' queue, Now the lobby chairs are soft, With no place to go. But that can't make the queue move fast. Hey, there it goes my friend, I've moved up one at last. -- Ernest Adams, "Early Morning Queue", to "Early Morning Rain" by G. Lightfoot | |
Wanna tell you all a story 'bout a man named Jed, A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed. But then one day he was shootin' at some food, When up through the ground come a bubblin' crude -- oil, that is; black gold; 'Texas tea' ... Well the next thing ya know, old Jed's a millionaire. The kinfolk said, 'Jed, move away from there!' They said, 'Californy is the place ya oughta be', So they loaded up the truck and they moved to Beverly -- Hills, that is; swimmin' pools; movie stars. | |
Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends! We're so glad you could attend, come inside, come inside! There behind the glass there's a real blade of grass, Be careful as you pass, move along, move along. Come inside, the show's about to start, Guaranteed to blow your head apart. Rest assured, you'll get your money's worth, Greatest show, in heaven, hell or earth! You gotta see the show! It's a dynamo! You gotta see the show! It's rock 'n' roll! -- ELP, "Karn Evil 9" (1st Impression, Part 2) | |
When someone makes a move We'll send them all we've got, Of which we don't approve, John Wayne and Randolph Scott, Who is it that always intervenes? Remember those exciting fighting scenes? U.N. and O.A.S., To the shores of Tripoli, They have their place, I guess, But not to Mississippoli, But first, send the Marines! What do we do? We send the Marines! For might makes right, Members of the corps And till they've seen the light, All hate the thought of war: They've got to be protected, They'd rather kill them off by peaceful means. All their rights respected, Stop calling it aggression-- Till somebody we like can be elected. We hate that expression! We only want the world to know That we support the status quo; They love us everywhere we go, So when in doubt, send the Marines! -- Tom Lehrer, "Send The Marines" | |
The Fastest Defeat In Chess The big name for us in the world of chess is Gibaud, a French chess master. In Paris during 1924 he was beaten after only four moves by a Monsieur Lazard. Happily for posterity, the moves are recorded and so chess enthusiasts may reconstruct this magnificent collapse in the comfort of their own homes. Lazard was black and Gibaud white: 1: P-Q4, Kt-KB3 2: Kt-Q2, P-K4 3: PxP, Kt-Kt5 4: P-K6, Kt-K6 White then resigns on realizing that a fifth move would involve either a Q-KR5 check or the loss of his queen. -- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures" | |
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." - The Book just racapping what happened in the last book. "`I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.'" - Zaphod being cool. | |
FORD Tell me Arthur... ARTHUR Yes? FORD This boulder we're stuck under, how big would you say it was? Roughly? ARTHUR Oh, about the size of Coventry Cathedral. FORD Do you think we could move it? (Arthur doesn't reply) Just asking. - Ford and Arthur in a tricky situation, Fit the Eighth. | |
BOOK What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer. - Comforting advice for Ford and Arthur in this current situation, Fit the Eighth. | |
"The move was on to 'Free the Lizard'" -- Jim Hamerly and Tom Paquin (Open Sources, 1999 O'Reilly and Associates) | |
Microsoft Acquires Nothing REDMOND, WA -- In an unprecedented move, Microsoft refrained from acquiring any rival companies for a full week. "I can't believe it," one industry analyst noted. "This is the first time in years that I haven't read any headlines about Microsoft acquiring something." The lack of Microsoft assimilation this week left a vacuum in computer industry publications. "Microsoft acquisition stories make up 10% of our headlines," an editor at Ziff-Slavis said. "We had to scramble to fill this void. We ran some controversial Jessie Burst columns instead, hoping that we could recoup ad revenue from people reading all the flames in the Talk Back forums. Jessie Burst forums account for 15% of our total ad revenue." | |
Microsoft Open Source Solitaire REDMOND, WA -- In a first attempt at "embrace-and-extend" of open source software, Microsoft will release its popular Solitaire and FreeCell games as open source under the MILA (Microsoft Innovative License Agreement). According to a Microsoft press release, the Visual C++ source code for the two games will be available from the Microsoft website "in the first quarter" (no year was specified). Industry pundits hail the move as revolutionary. "Microsoft's release of its most popular Windows feature as open source software demonstrates just how innovative the company really is. The DoJ is clearly barking up the wrong tree," wrote one Ziff-Davis flunkie. One executive at a large company said, "Freely available source code is the best idea Microsoft has ever invented." One Linux developer told Humorix, "Let's just hope some fool doesn't try to port this thing to Linux. Imagine the havoc that could ensue if a bunch of core Linux contributors downloaded Solitaire and became addicted to it. It would be a disaster! Linux and open source development would grind to a halt while the hackers wasted their time playing Solitaire or FreeCell. 'Just one more game...' they would say." | |
Dave Finton gazes into his crystal ball... May 2049: Transmeta Updates Webpage In a bold move that shocked observers everywhere, Transmeta Corp., a secretive Silicon Valley company, updated their webpage. According to our sources, Transmeta fixed a bug in their existing web page located in the comment "This page contains no tyops". The message has been fixed to read "This page contains no typso". | |
Evolution Of A Linux User: The 11 Stages Towards Getting A Life 0. Microserf - Your life revolves around Windows and you worship Bill Gates and his innovative company. 1. Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt... About Microsoft - You encounter a growing number of problems with Microsoft solutions, shaking your world-view 2. FUD... About Linux - After hearing about this new Linux thing, you take the plunge, but are unimpressed by the nerdware OS. 3. Born-Again Microserf - You rededicate your life to Microsoft worship 4. Disgruntled User - Microsoft software keeps screwing you over, and you're not going to take it anymore! 5. A Religious Experience - You successfully install Linux, and are left breathless at its elegance. No more Windows for you! 6. Linux Convert - You continue to fall in love with the new system 7. Linux Zealot - You dedicate your life to Linux World Domination... and it shows! You go beyond mere advocacy to sheer zealotry. 8. Back To Reality - Forces out of your control compel you to return to using Windows and Office 9. Enlightened Linux User - You become 100% Microsoft free after finding ways to overcome the need for Microsoft bloatware 10.Get A Life - You become a millionaire after your Linux portal is acquired; you move to a small tropical island and get a life | |
Excerpts From The First Annual Nerd Bowl (#3) BRYANT DUMBELL: It's time for Round One: The Flying CompactDiscus. JOHN SPLADDEN: That's right, Bryant. Each team member will hurl one CD-ROM and receive points for both the distance thrown and whether the disc is still readable afterwards. DUMBELL: First up is Mad Hatter's Alan Cox. He struts, he winds up, and there it goes! Look at the trajectory on that baby... Now it's time for the Portalback's Anonymous Coward #521 to throw. This guy was voted as the best CompactDiscus thrower in the league by popular vote on Slashdot. SPLADDEN: Indeed, AnonCow has got some powerful muscles. No brain though. Did you know that he dropped out of college to join the Andover.Net team? DUMBELL: Yeah, what a tough decision to make. It's now becoming quite common for nerd superstars to ditch college and move to Silicon Valley and receive Big League stock options. Still, AnonCow was out for several games this season due to a Carpal Tunnel flareup. I hope he isn't squandering his millions... he might be forced to retire early. | |
Official National Anthem Of The Geek Paradise Of Humorixia (second verse, abridged) Patents, copyrights, and trademarks, Those evil lawyers are worse than sharks. We can't escape their vice-like grip, We're slaves to their class-action whip, We all must fight this evil abomination, Join together and strive for world domination! Tell those bloodsucking ticks, "See ya!" And move on over to Humor-ix-ia! Kill all the lawyers! Oh, kill all the lawyers! Let's "kill -9 lawyers" now! Let's "kill -9 lawyers" now! ...Humorixia! There is no conspiracy! | |
8GB Ought To Be Enough For Anybody REDMOND, WA -- In a shocking move, Microsoft has revealed that the new Xbox console will only contain an 8 gigabyte hard drive. This implies that the machines will use a version of the Windows operating system that fits within only 8GB. Squeezing Windows into such a small footprint must certainly be one of the greatest technological achievements ever crafted by Microsoft's Research & Assimilation Department. "I can't believe it," said one industry observer who always happens to show up when this Humorix reporter needs to quote somebody. "To think that they were able to strip away the easter egg flight simulators, the multi-gigabyte yet content-free Help files, and all of the other crap that comes bundled with Windows is simply remarkable. I don't even want to think about all of the manpower, blood, sweat, and tears required to distill Windows into only 8 gigabytes of bare essentials. Wow!" Hard drive manufacturers are deeply disturbed over the news. Explained one PR flack at Eastern Analog, "We depend on Microsoft to continually produce bloated software that becomes larger and larger with each passing day. We can't sell huge 100GB drives if Microsoft Windows only occupies a measly 8 gigs! They will never buy a new drive if Microsoft doesn't force them!" | |
Bill Gates Receives Slap On Wrist; Carpal Tunnel Flares Up The phrase "slap on the wrist" usually signifies an extremely minor punishment received for a crime. In Bill Gates' case, the punishment set forth in the tentative settlement with the Department Of Justice hasn't been quite so minor. After receiving a slap on the wrist from the DOJ, Bill Gates' is now suffering from a bad case of carpal tunnel syndrome. "Mr. Gates was slapped on the left wrist earlier today by a DOJ lawyer," said the chief surgeon of the mini-hospital enclosed within the Gates Mansion. "Now he can't move that hand without extreme pain. It's obvious that years of sitting in front of a computer plotting world domination has caused his hands and nerves to become fragile and vulnerable to even the slightest touch." The Department of Justice proclaimed that the incident has vindicated their actions. Explained the lawyer who delivered the punishment, "We've been accused of selling out to Microsoft. We've been criticized for giving up even though we've already won the game. But that's all wrong. It's quite clear that the slap-on-the-wrist punishment has been anything but a slap on the wrist. We won this case and Microsoft lost. So there!" | |
The Golden Rule is of no use to you whatever unless you realize it is your move. -- Frank Crane | |
The strong give up and move away, while the weak give up and stay. | |
Linus Torvalds wrote: > Or are they just trying to strongarm the move to the horrid ACPI tables? They are certainly involved in the latter but whether this is related or a seperate evil empire scheme is open to question - Alan Cox on linux-kernel | |
Look, it cannot be seen - it is beyond form. Listen, it cannot be heard - it is beyond sound. Grasp, it cannot be held - it is intangible. These three are indefinable; Therefore they are joined in one. From above it is not bright; From below it is not dark: An unbroken thread beyond description. It returns to nothingness. The form of the formless, The image of the imageless, It is called indefinable and beyond imagination. Stand before it and there is no beginning. Follow it and there is no end. Stay with the ancient Tao, Move with the present. Knowing the ancient beginning is the essence of Tao. | |
There is a saying among soldiers: I dare not make the first move but would rather play the guest; I dare not advance an inch but would rather withdraw a foot. This is called marching without appearing to move, Rolling up your sleeves without showing your arm, Capturing the enemy without attacking, Being armed without weapons. There is no greater catastrophe than underestimating the enemy. By underestimating the enemy, I almost lost what I value. Therefore when the battle is joined, The underdog will win. | |
<WildCode> Mercury, isn't debugging X a little like finding perfectly bugfree code in windows ?? <Mercury> WildCode: Debugging X is like trying to run a straight line through a maze. <Mercury> You just need to bend space-time so that the corners move around you and you won't have any problems. (=:] | |
(1) Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. (2) If your stomach antagonizes you, pacify it with cool thoughts. (3) Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move. (4) Go very lightly on the vices, such as carrying on in society, as the social ramble ain't restful. (5) Avoid running at all times. (6) Don't look back, something might be gaining on you. -- S. Paige, c. 1951 | |
Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. -- Douglas Adams, HHGG #2, (The Restaurant at the End of the Universe). | |
You can always pick up your needle and move to another groove. -- Tim Leary | |
<netgod> And once Diziet/CQ make the formal announcment that LSA sucks, we can even reduce the Crisis Level rating and move on to linuxfoundation.org. -- #Debian | |
Day X+4 months: Microsoft ships NT 5.0 for Intel.with a big media event on TV. IBM begins to ship Debian 4.6 as the standard OS on all machines from mainframe to PC and announces the move on Slashdot. -- Christoph Lameter | |
I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies. Well, what we have on our hands here is a dead shark. -- Woody Allen | |
Sometime when you least expect it, Love will tap you on the shoulder... and ask you to move out of the way because it still isn't your turn. -- N.V. Plyter | |
Did you move a lot of KOREAN STEAK KNIVES this trip, Dingy? | |
I like the way ONLY their mouths move ... They look like DYING OYSTERS |