Dictionary De - En
De - Es
De - Pt| Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English) | by Linux fortune |
| After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations. -- H.L. Mencken, on Shakespeare | |
| Lemma: All horses are the same color. Proof (by induction): Case n = 1: In a set with only one horse, it is obvious that all horses in that set are the same color. Case n = k: Suppose you have a set of k+1 horses. Pull one of these horses out of the set, so that you have k horses. Suppose that all of these horses are the same color. Now put back the horse that you took out, and pull out a different one. Suppose that all of the k horses now in the set are the same color. Then the set of k+1 horses are all the same color. We have k true => k+1 true; therefore all horses are the same color. Theorem: All horses have an infinite number of legs. Proof (by intimidation): Everyone would agree that all horses have an even number of legs. It is also well-known that horses have forelegs in front and two legs in back. 4 + 2 = 6 legs, which is certainly an odd number of legs for a horse to have! Now the only number that is both even and odd is infinity; therefore all horses have an infinite number of legs. However, suppose that there is a horse somewhere that does not have an infinite number of legs. Well, that would be a horse of a different color; and by the Lemma, it doesn't exist. | |
| Humorix Holiday Gift Idea #2 Nerd Trading Cards Price: $10/pack Producer: Bottomms; 1-800-NRDS-ROK Forget baseball, nerd trading cards are the future. Now your kids can collect and trade cards of their favorite open source hackers and computer industry figures. Some of the cards included feature Linus Torvalds, Richard M. Stallman, and Larry Wall. Also contains cards for companies (Red Hat, Netscape, Transmeta, etc.), specific open source programs (Apache, Perl, Mozilla, etc.), and well-known websites (Slashdot, Freshmeat, etc.). Each card features a full-color picture on the front and complete information and statistics on back. Some of the cards have even been autographed. Quit trying to search eBay.com for a Mark McGwire rookie card and collect nerd cards instead! | |
| The new "I Love You" virus is not the work of some snot-nosed acne-laced teenager working from a basement in the Phillipines. It's actually part of a conspiracy concocted by the unholy alliance of Microsoft and several well-known and well-despised spammers. You'll notice that the ILOVEYOU, Melissa, and Tuxissa strains all extract email addresses from the victim's system. This is a gold mine for spammers, who are able to use these viruses to harvest active email addresses for them. Everytime ILOVEYOU, for instance, propogates, it keeps track of all the email addresses it has been sent to, so that when it finally boomerangs back to a spammer, they have a nice convenient list of addresses to send "laser printer toner" and "get rich quick!" advertisements to. -- Bob Smith (not his real code-name), in a speech given at the First Annual Connecticut Conspiracy Convention (ConConCon), "the largest ever gathering of conspiracy theorists east of the Mississippi." | |
| Brief History Of Linux (#27) Microsoft's position as the 5,000 pound gorilla of the computer industry didn't change during the 1990's. Indeed, this gorilla got even more bloated with every passing Windows release. Bill Gates' business strategy was simple: 1. Pre-announce vaporous product. 2. Hire monkeys (low-paid temps) to cruft something together in VB 3. It it compiles, ship it. 4. Launch marketing campaign for new product showcasing MS "innovation". 5. Repeat (GOTO 1). With such a plan Microsoft couldn't fail. That is, unless some external force popped up and ruined everything. Such as Linux and the Internet perhaps. Both of these developments were well-known to Bill Gates in the early and mid 1990's (a company as large as Microsoft can afford a decent spy network, after all). He just considered both to be mere fads that would go away when Microsoft announced some new innovation, like PDAs -- Personal Desktop Agents (i.e. Bob and Clippit). | |
| A well-known friend is a treasure. | |
| Linux: Where Don't We Want To Go Today? -- Submitted by Pancrazio De Mauro, paraphrasing some well-known sales talk | |
| AP/STT. Helsinki, Dec 5th, 6:22 AM. For immediate release. In order to allay fears about the continuity of the Linux project, Linus Torvalds together with his manager Tove Monni have released "Linus v2.0", affectionately known as "Kernel Hacker - The Next Generation". Linux stock prices on Wall Street rose sharply after the announcement; as one well-known analyst who wishes to remain anonymous says - "It shows a long-term commitment, and while we expect a short-term decrease in productivity, we feel that this solidifies the development in the long run". Other analysts downplay the importance of the event, and claim that just about anybody could have done it. "I'm glad somebody finally told them about the birds and the bees" one sceptic comments cryptically. But even the skeptics agree that it is an interesting turn of events. Others bring up other issues with the new version - "I'm especially intrigued by the fact that the new version is female, and look forward to seeing what the impact of that will be on future development. Will "Red Hat Linux" change to "Pink Hat Linux", for example?" -- Linus Torvalds announcing that he became father of a girl | |
| Excerpt from a conversation between a customer support person and a customer working for a well-known military-affiliated research lab: Support: "You're not our only customer, you know." Customer: "But we're one of the few with tactical nuclear weapons." | |
