Marx : Dictionary / Wörterbuch (BEOLINGUS, TU Chemnitz)

Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English)	by Linux fortune

Jane and I got mixed up with a television show -- or as we call it back east here: TV -- a clever contraction derived from the words Terrible Vaudeville. However, it is our latest medium -- we call it a medium because nothing's well done. It was discovered, I suppose you've heard, by a man named Fulton Berle, and it has already revolutionized social grace by cutting down parlour conversation to two sentences: "What's on television?" and "Good night". -- Goodman Ace, letter to Groucho Marx, in The Groucho Letters, 1967
All people are born alike -- except Republicans and Democrats. -- Groucho Marx
If Karl, instead of writing a lot about Capital, had made a lot of Capital, it would have been much better. -- Karl Marx's Mother
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. -- Groucho Marx
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. -- Groucho Marx
There is only one way to kill capitalism -- by taxes, taxes, and more taxes. -- Karl Marx
Famous quotations: " " -- Charlie Chaplin " " -- Harpo Marx " " -- Marcel Marceau
If you stew apples like cranberries, they taste more like prunes than rhubarb does. -- Groucho Marx
Thirteen at a table is unlucky only when the hostess has only twelve chops. -- Groucho Marx
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. -- Groucho Marx
From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. -- Groucho Marx, from "The Book of Insults"
I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows till you come home. -- Groucho Marx
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception. -- Groucho Marx
I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse. -- Groucho Marx
I'd never join any club that would have the likes of me as a member. -- Groucho Marx
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. -- Groucho Marx
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy. -- Groucho Marx
It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa. -- Groucho Marx
My friends, I am here to tell you of the wonderous continent known as Africa. Well we left New York drunk and early on the morning of February 31. We were 15 days on the water, and 3 on the boat when we finally arrived in Africa. Upon our arrival we immediately set up a rigorous schedule: Up at 6:00, breakfast, and back in bed by 7:00. Pretty soon we were back in bed by 6:30. Now Africa is full of big game. The first day I shot two bucks. That was the biggest game we had. Africa is primerally inhabited by Elks, Moose and Knights of Pithiests. The elks live up in the mountains and come down once a year for their annual conventions. And you should see them gathered around the water hole, which they leave immediately when they discover it's full of water. They weren't looking for a water hole. They were looking for an alck hole. One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas, how he got in my pajamas, I don't know. Then we tried to remove the tusks. That's a tough word to say, tusks. As I said we tried to remove the tusks, but they were imbedded so firmly we couldn't get them out. But in Alabama the Tuscaloosa, but that is totally irrelephant to what I was saying. We took some pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed. So we're going back in a few years... -- Julius H. Marx [Groucho]
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog it's too dark to read. -- Groucho Marx
You'd better beat it. You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff. -- Groucho Marx
My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one. -- Groucho Marx
Either I'm dead or my watch has stopped. -- Groucho Marx's last words
There is one way to find out if a man is honest -- ask him. If he says "Yes" you know he is crooked. -- Groucho Marx