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Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English) by Linux fortune

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is
in it - and stay there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot
stove-lid.  She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that
is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one any more.
                -- Mark Twain
Much of the excitement we get out of our work is that we don't really
know what we are doing.
                -- E. Dijkstra
When the Apple IIc was introduced, the informative copy led off with a couple
of asterisked sentences:

        It weighs less than 8 pounds.*
        And costs less than $1,300.**

In tiny type were these "fuller explanations":

      * Don't asterisks make you suspicious as all get out?  Well, all
        this means is that the IIc alone weights 7.5 pounds. The power
        pack, monitor, an extra disk drive, a printer and several bricks
        will make the IIc weigh more. Our lawyers were concerned that you
        might not be able to figure this out for yourself.

     ** The FTC is concerned about price fixing. You can pay more if
        you really want to.  Or less.
                -- Forbes
"Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and
those inside desperate to get out."
-- Montaigne
I like to believe that people in the long run are going to do more to promote
peace than our governments.  Indeed, I think that people want peace so much
that one of these days governments had better get out of the way and let them
have it.
                -- Dwight D. Eisenhower
I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the
whole field to private industry.
                -- Joseph Heller
When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve
people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
                -- Norm Crosby
Hoare's Law of Large Problems:
        Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.
Hubbard's Law:
        Don't take life too seriously; you won't get out of it alive.
Quality control, n.:
        Assuring that the quality of a product does not get out of hand
        and add to the cost of its manufacture or design.
I must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini.
                -- Alexander Woolcott
When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said
to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."
                -- Franklyn Ajaye
The number of licorice gumballs you get out of a gumball machine
increases in direct proportion to how much you hate licorice.
And here I wait so patiently
Waiting to find out what price
You have to pay to get out of
Going thru all of these things twice
                -- Dylan, "Memphis Blues Again"
Get out, you old Wight!  Vanish in the sunlight!
Shrivel like the cold mist, like the winds go wailing,
Out into the barren lands far beyond the mountains!
Come never here again!  Leave your barrow empty!
Lost and forgotten be, darker than the darkness,
Where gates stand for ever shut, till the world is mended.
                -- J. R. R. Tolkien
We gotta get out of this place,
If it's the last thing we ever do.
                -- The Animals
Dismissed.  That's a Star Fleet expression for, "Get out."
                -- Capt. Kathryn Janeway, Star Trek: Voyager, "The Cloud"
"`My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland
and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am
therefore excused from saving Universes.'"

- Ford's last ditch attempt to get out of helping
Slartibartfast.
Programming for money sucks... you have to deal with PHBs, 16 hour days,
and spending the night in your cubicle half of the time to avoid the
Commute From Hell...

I minored in Journalism, so I tried to switch into a job as an IT pundit.
You'd think they'd welcome a geek like me with open arms, but they
didn't.  Ziff-Davis wouldn't even give me an interview. I was "too
qualified" they said. Apparently my technical acumen was too much for
their organization, which employs Jesse Berst and the ilk.

It gets worse. I tried to get an entry-level reporting job for a
local-yokel paper. After the interview they gave me a "skills test": I had
to compose an article using Microsoft Word 97. Since I've never touched a
Windows box, I had no clue how to use it. When I botched the test, the
personnel manager spouted, "Your resume said you were a computer
programmer. Obviously you're a liar. Get out of my office now!"

  -- Excerpt from a horror story about geek discrimination during
     the Geek Grok '99 telethon
You don't get out much, do you :-)?  Lighten up a little, this
is supposed to be fun.......We could argue all day, but there was
lots of computer work done before PCI and PCs.  I'm more than old
enough to know, so just leave it at that.......

        - Dan Malek on the linuxppc-embedded list
Just remember: when you go to court, you are trusting your fate to
twelve people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty!
Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.
Don't take life seriously, you'll never get out alive.
Life is like a sewer.  What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
                -- Tom Lehrer
Nasrudin returned to his village from the imperial capital, and the villagers
gathered around to hear what had passed.  "At this time," said Nasrudin, "I
only want to say that the King spoke to me."  All the villagers but the
stupidest ran off to spread the wonderful news.  The remaining villager
asked, "What did the King say to you?"  "What he said -- and quite distinctly,
for everyone to hear -- was 'Get out of my way!'" The simpleton was overjoyed;
he had heard words actually spoken by the King, and seen the very man they
were spoken to.
If you are good, you will be assigned all the work.  If you are real
good, you will get out of it.
Why I Can't Go Out With You:

I'd LOVE to, but...
        -- I have to answer all of my "occupant" letters.
        -- None of my socks match.
        -- I'm having all my plants neutered.
        -- I changed the lock on my door and now I can't get out.
        -- My yucca plant is feeling yucky.
        -- I'm touring China with a wok band.
        -- My chocolate-appreciation class meets that night.
        -- I'm running off to Yugoslavia with a foreign-exchange student
                named Basil Metabolism.
        -- There are important world issues that need worrying about.
        -- I'm going to count the bristles in my toothbrush.
        -- I prefer to remain an enigma.
        -- I think you want the OTHER Peggy/Cathy/Mike/whomever.
        -- I feel a song coming on.
No guarantee of accuracy or completeness!
©TU Chemnitz, 2006-2024
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