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Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English) by Linux fortune

        I'm sure that VMS is completely documented, I just haven't found the
right manual yet.  I've been working my way through the manuals in the document
library and I'm half way through the second cabinet, (3 shelves to go), so I
should find what I'm looking for by mid May.  I hope I can remember what it
was by the time I find it.
        I had this idea for a new horror film, "VMS Manuals from Hell" or maybe
"The Paper Chase : IBM vs. DEC".  It's based on Hitchcock's "The Birds", except
that it's centered around a programmer who is attacked by a swarm of binder
pages with an index number and the single line "This page intentionally left
blank."
                -- Alex Crain
We thrive on euphemism.  We call multi-megaton bombs "Peace-keepers", closet
size apartments "efficient" and incomprehensible artworks "innovative".  In
fact, "euphemism" has become a euphemism for "bald-faced lie".  And now, here
are the euphemisms so colorfully employed in Personal Ads:

EUPHEMISM                        REALITY
-------------------                -------------------------
Excited about life's journey        No concept of reality
Spiritually evolved                Oversensitive
Moody                                Manic-depressive
Soulful                                Quiet manic-depressive
Poet                                Boring manic-depressive
Sultry/Sensual                        Easy
Uninhibited                        Lacking basic social skills
Unaffected and earthy                Slob and lacking basic social skills
Irreverent                        Nasty and lacking basic social skills
Very human                        Quasimodo's best friend
Swarthy                                Sweaty even when cold or standing still
Spontaneous/Eclectic                Scatterbrained
Flexible                        Desperate
Aging child                        Self-centered adult
Youthful                        Over 40 and trying to deny it
Good sense of humor                Watches a lot of television
No guarantee of accuracy or completeness!
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