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De - Pt| Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English) | by Linux fortune |
| Freaks In Linux Houses Shouldn't Throw FUD By Mr. Stu Poor, technology pundit for the Arkansas "Roadkill Roundup" newspaper. [Editor's Note: He's the local equivalent of Jesse Berst]. As you all know, February 17th was the happy day that Microsoft officially released Windows 2000. I went down to the local Paperclips computer store and asked if they had any copies in stock. One of the pimply-faced Linux longhairs explained that Paperclips didn't carry Win2K because it is not intended for consumers. What FUD! I can't believe the gall of those Linux Communists to spread such FUD (Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt) about Windows 2000, which is _the_ best, most stable operating system ever produced in the history of mankind! | |
| Man Charged With Crashing Windows MOUNTAIN HOME, AR -- Eric Turgent, a closet Linux advocate, was arrested yesterday for intentionally crashing his co-worker's Windows box at the offices of the "Roadkill Roundup" newspaper. Turgent disputes the charges, saying, "If causing an operating system to crash is illegal, than why isn't Bill Gates serving life without parole?" Turgent's co-worker, Mr. Stu Poor, the clueless technology pundit for the newspaper, is a heavy Microsoft supporter. He frequently brags in his weekly Tech Talk column that he "once had a conversation with Bill Gates." A heated argument broke out yesterday morning in which the two insulted each other ("You're nothing but a Linux hippie freak on the Red Hat payroll!" vs. "You make Jesse Berst and Fred Moody look like [expletive] geniuses!") for two hours. At the heat of the moment, Turgent shoved Poor aside and typed in "C:\CON\CON". The machine crashed and the pundit lost all of his work (a real loss to humanity, to be sure). Turgent is in jail awaiting trial for violating the "Slash Crashes Act". This bill was enacted in 1999 after a Senator's gigabyte cache of pornography was destroyed by a Windows crash. | |
| * dpkg hands stu a huge glass of vbeer * Joey takes the beer from stu, you're too young ;) * Cylord takes the beer from Joey, you're too drunk. * Cylord gives the beer to muggles. | |
| <stu> you should be afraid to use KDE because RMS might come to your house and cleave your monitor with an axe or something :) | |
| <stu> apt: !bugs <apt> !bugs are stupid <dpkg> apt: are stupid? what's that? <apt> dpkg: i don't know <dpkg> apt: Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder... <apt> i already had it that way, dpkg. | |
| <jgoerzen> stu: ahh that machine. Don't you think that something named stallman deserves to be an Alpha? :-) <stu> jgoerzen: no, actually, I'd prolly be more inclined to name a 386 with 4 megs of ram and a 40 meg hard drive stallman. <stu> with a big fat case that makes tons of noise and rattles the floor * Knghtbrd falls to the floor holding his sides laughing <stu> and.. <stu> double-height hard drive | |
| <knghtbrd> If charging someone for violation of US crypto laws would get you laughed out of court, just "investigate" them on hte charge of TREASON! <knghtbrd> Tea, anyone? <Espy> I'd rather drown politicians instead of tea :) <stu> espy: politicians have gills, duh <Espy> weasels don't have gills | |
| <Knghtbrd> This font is starting to come out very nicely <stu> Knghtbrd: oh dear, are you hacking up another quake font in vi? :) | |
| * dpkg hands stu a huge glass of vbeer * Joey takes the beer from stu, you're too young ;) * Cylord takes the beer from Joey, you're too drunk. * Cylord gives the beer to muggles. -- #Debian, celebrating the 5th anniversary | |
| <stu> Stupid nick highlighting <stu> Whenever someone starts with "stupid" it highlights the nick. Hmm. -- #Debian | |
