|Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English)||by Linux fortune|
|You Might be a Microsoft Employee If...|
1. Every night you dream of torturing Linus Torvalds
2. Every morning you say, "I pledge allegiance to the logo of the United
Corporation of Microsoft. And to the stock options for which it stands, one
company, under Bill, with headaches and buggy software for all."
3. Your favorite pick-up line is, "Hey baby...do you want to see a little
4. Everytime you see a website with "Best viewed with Netscape" on it you
feel like filing a lawsuit against its webmaster
5. You feel that all Anti-Microsoft websites should be censored because they
are on the Internet, something Bill "invented."
6. You've set a goal to invent at least one new buzzword or acronym per day
7. You've ever been nervous because you haven't registered your Microsoft
8. You've trained your parrot to say "Unix sucks!" and "All hail Bill Gates!"
9. You own a limited edition Monopoly game in which Boardwalk is Microsoft and
Jail is replaced by Justice Department Investigation
10. You've spent countless hours tracking down the source of the "Microsoft
Acquires Vatican Church" rumor
| Then there's the story of the man who avoided reality for 70 years|
with drugs, sex, alcohol, fantasy, TV, movies, records, a hobby, lots of
sleep... And on his 80th birthday died without ever having faced any of
his real problems.
The man's younger brother, who had been facing reality and all his
problems for 50 years with psychiatrists, nervous breakdowns, tics, tension,
headaches, worry, anxiety and ulcers, was so angry at his brother for having
gotten away scott free that he had a paralyzing stroke.
The moral to this story is that there ain't no justice that we can
stand to live with.
-- R. Geis