|Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English)||by Linux fortune|
|Q: How many Harvard MBA's does it take to screw in a light bulb?|
A: Just one. He grasps it firmly and the universe revolves around him.
|alta, v: To change; make or become different; modify.|
ansa, v: A spoken or written reply, as to a question.
baa, n: A place people meet to have a few drinks.
Baaston, n: The capital of Massachusetts.
baaba, n: One whose business is to cut or trim hair or beards.
beea, n: An alcoholic beverage brewed from malt and hops, often
found in baas.
caaa, n: An automobile.
centa, n: A point around which something revolves; axis. (Or
someone involved with the Knicks.)
chouda, n: A thick seafood soup, often in a milk base.
dada, n: Information, esp. information organized for analysis or
-- Massachewsetts Unabridged Dictionary
|Evolution Of A Linux User: The 11 Stages Towards Getting A Life|
0. Microserf - Your life revolves around Windows and you worship Bill
Gates and his innovative company.
1. Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt... About Microsoft - You encounter a growing
number of problems with Microsoft solutions, shaking your world-view
2. FUD... About Linux - After hearing about this new Linux thing, you
take the plunge, but are unimpressed by the nerdware OS.
3. Born-Again Microserf - You rededicate your life to Microsoft worship
4. Disgruntled User - Microsoft software keeps screwing you over,
and you're not going to take it anymore!
5. A Religious Experience - You successfully install Linux, and are
left breathless at its elegance. No more Windows for you!
6. Linux Convert - You continue to fall in love with the new system
7. Linux Zealot - You dedicate your life to Linux World Domination...
and it shows! You go beyond mere advocacy to sheer zealotry.
8. Back To Reality - Forces out of your control compel you to
return to using Windows and Office
9. Enlightened Linux User - You become 100% Microsoft free after finding
ways to overcome the need for Microsoft bloatware
10.Get A Life - You become a millionaire after your Linux portal is
acquired; you move to a small tropical island and get a life
|Won't Somebody Please Think Of The Microsoft Shareholder's Children? |
The Evil Monopoly will soon be a duopoly of MICROS~1 and MICROS~2 now that
Judge Jackson has made his ruling. Geeks everywhere are shedding tears of
joy, while Microsoft investors are shedding real tears. But not everybody
is ecstatic about the ruling. "It dawned on me today that if Microsoft is
broken up, we won't have anyone to bash anymore. We can have that," said
Rob Graustein, the founder of the new "Save Microsoft Now! Campaign".
Rob continued, "I know what you're thinking! I have not been
assimilated... er, hired... by Microsoft. I'm not crazy. I haven't been
paid off. My life as a geek revolves around bashing Microsoft. I mean, I
own the world's largest collection of anti-Microsoft T-shirts and
underwear. It's time to take a stand against the elimination of Geek Enemy
Most observers agree that Mr. Graustein's brain has gone 404. "This guy is
nuts! Support Microsoft? I can't believe I'm hearing this. Even fake news
sites couldn't make up this kind of insanity."