|Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English)||by Linux fortune|
| "I'm dying," he croaked.|
"My experiment was a success," the chemist retorted .
"You can't really train a beagle," he dogmatized.
"That's no beagle, it's a mongrel," she muttered.
"The fire is going out," he bellowed.
"Bad marksmanship," the hunter groused.
"You ought to see a psychiatrist," he reminded me.
"You snake," she rattled.
"Someone's at the door," she chimed.
"Company's coming," she guessed.
"Dawn came too soon," she mourned.
"I think I'll end it all," Sue sighed.
"I ordered chocolate, not vanilla," I screamed.
"Your embroidery is sloppy," she needled cruelly.
"Where did you get this meat?" he bridled hoarsely.
-- Gyles Brandreth, "The Joy of Lex"
| A journalist, thrilled over his dinner, asked the chef for the recipe.|
Retorted the chef, "Sorry, we have the same policy as you journalists, we
never reveal our sauce."
| A lawyer named Strange was shopping for a tombstone. After he had|
made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he
would like on it. "Here lies an honest man and a lawyer," responded the
"Sorry, but I can't do that," replied the stonecutter. "In this
state, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave. However,
I could put ``here lies an honest lawyer'', if that would be okay."
"But that won't let people know who it is" protested the lawyer.
"Certainly will," retorted the stonecutter. "people will read it
and exclaim, "That's Strange!"