|Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English)||by Linux fortune|
|Andries Brouwer wrote:|
> Linux is unreliable.
> That is bad.
Since your definition of reliability is a mathematical abstraction requiring
infinite storage why don't you start by inventing infinitely large SDRAM
chips, then get back to us ?
- Alan Cox
|You can extend EXTRAVERSION infinitely, but after the first 10 or so|
characters, it starts to get silly.
- Russell King on linux-kernel
|Didn't you hear? I think Linus broke the news awhile back: Alan has the|
uncanny ability to fork() himself infinitely many times. And he has no
resource contention, so he scales O(1).
- Robert Love on linux-kernel
|Very few things actually get manufactured these days, because in an|
infinitely large Universe, such as the one in which we live, most things one
could possibly imagine, and a lot of things one would rather not, grow
somewhere. A forest was discovered recently in which most of the trees grew
ratchet screwdrivers as fruit. The life cycle of the ratchet screwdriver is
quite interesting. Once picked it needs a dark dusty drawer in which it can
lie undisturbed for years. Then one night it suddenly hatches, discards its
outer skin that crumbles into dust, and emerges as a totally unidentifiable
little metal object with flanges at both ends and a sort of ridge and a hole
for a screw. This, when found, will get thrown away. No one knows what the
screwdriver is supposed to gain from this. Nature, in her infinite wisdom,
is presumably working on it.
|Alan Cox Releases Quantum Kernel|
Submitted by Dave Finton
A surprising development in the linux-kernel mailing list surfaced when
Alan Cox announced the release of a 2.2 Linux kernel existing both as an
official stable kernel and as a prepatch kernel. This immediately spurred
the creation of two different realities (and hence two different Alan
Coxes), where a kernel would not settle down to one or the other state
until someone looked at it.
"I think this resulted from the large number of 'final' prepatch kernels
prior to the 2.2.14 release," said David Miller, kernel networking guru
and gas station attendent (he'll settle down to one or the other state
when someone looks at him).
When word of this development spread to Microsoft, Bill Gates was
extremely delighted. The Redmond, WA campus has been plagued with quantum
fluctuations ever since the inception of Windows 2000 back in 1992. "Our
release date has been existing in infinitely many states since the very
beginning," said a Microsoft spokesperson. "This just shows the Linux
operating system cannot scale to multiple realities as well as our OS."
|If he had only learnt a little less, how infinitely better he might have|
taught much more!
When any principle, law, tenet, probability, happening, circumstance,
or result can in no way be directly, indirectly, empirically, or
circuitously proven, derived, implied, inferred, induced, deducted,
estimated, or scientifically guessed, it will always for the purpose
of convenience, expediency, political advantage, material gain, or
personal comfort, or any combination of the above, or none of the
above, be unilaterally and unequivocally assumed, proclaimed, and
adhered to as absolute truth to be undeniably, universally, immutably,
and infinitely so, until such time as it becomes advantageous to
assume otherwise, maybe.
|All wars are civil wars, because all men are brothers ... Each one owes|
infinitely more to the human race than to the particular country in
which he was born.
-- Francois Fenelon
|It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely|
the most important.
-- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, "A Case of Identity"
| THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #13: SLOBOL|
SLOBOL is best known for the speed, or lack of it, of its compiler.
Although many compilers allow you to take a coffee break while they
compile, SLOBOL compilers allow you to travel to Bolivia to pick the
coffee. Forty-three programmers are known to have died of boredom
sitting at their terminals while waiting for a SLOBOL program to
compile. Weary SLOBOL programmers often turn to a related (but
infinitely faster) language, COCAINE.
|You may be infinitely smaller than some things, but you're infinitely |
larger than others.