Dictionary De - En
De - Es
De - Pt| Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English) | by Linux fortune |
| Hi Jimbo. Dennis. Really appreciate the help on the income tax. You wanna help on the audit now? -- "The Rockford Files" | |
| I would like to electrocute everyone who uses the word 'fair' in connection with income tax policies. -- William F. Buckley | |
| Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund. -- F. J. Raymond | |
| Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result. -- Winston Churchill Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund. -- F.J. Raymond | |
| The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax. -- Albert Einstein | |
| The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr. -- Will Rogers | |
| To make tax forms true they should read "Income Owed Us" and "Incommode You". | |
| Will Rogers, having paid too much income tax one year, tried in vain to claim a rebate. His numerous letters and queries remained unanswered. Eventually the form for the next year's return arrived. In the section marked "DEDUCTIONS," Rogers listed: "Bad debt, US Government -- $40,000." | |
| You must include all income you receive in the form of money, property and services if it is not specifically exempt. Report property (goods) and services at their fair market values. Examples include income from bartering or swapping transactions, side commissions, kickbacks, rent paid in services, illegal activities (such as stealing, drugs, etc.), cash skimming by proprietors and tradesmen, "moonlighting" services, gambling, prizes and awards. Not reporting such income can lead to prosecution for perjury and fraud. -- Excerpt from Taxachussetts income tax forms | |
| Absentee, n.: A person with an income who has had the forethought to remove himself from the sphere of exaction. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" | |
| HOW YOU CAN TELL THAT IT'S GOING TO BE A ROTTEN DAY: #1040 Your income tax refund cheque bounces. | |
| Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers and cheating on your income tax. -- Mike Royko | |
| i'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart. -- e. e. cummings | |
| Lady Luck brings added income today. Lady friend takes it away tonight. | |
| Look, we play the Star Spangled Banner before every game. You want us to pay income taxes, too? -- Bill Veeck, Chicago White Sox | |
| Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so. -Josh Billings | |
| You Might be a Microsoft Employee If... 1. When a Microsoft program crashes for the millionth time, you say "Oh, well!" and reboot without any negative thoughts 2. The Windows 95 startup screen (the clouds) makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside 3. You fully understand why Windows 95's Shutdown Option has to be accessed from the Start Menu 4. You believe Internet Explorer's security flaws were slipped in by a crack team of Netscape programmers 5. You keep valuable papers near your fireplace. Therefore, you are comfortable with Windows 95's "may-delete-it-at-anytime" philosophy 6. You're the Bob that Microsoft Bob was named after 7. Instead of "I'd rather be fishing," your bumper sticker says, "I'd rather be writing buggy Microsoft code" 8. You know the technical difference between OLE 1.0 and OLE 2.0 9. You've ever completed your income taxes while waiting for Windows 95 to boot, and didn't think anything of it 10. You run Solitaire more than any other program, and therefore you consider your computer a Dedicated Solitaire Engine (DSE) | |
| All progress is based upon a universal innate desire of every organism to live beyond its income. -- Samuel Butler, "Notebooks" | |
| You know you're in trouble when... (1) You've been at work for an hour before you notice that your skirt is caught in your pantyhose. Especially if you're a man. (2) Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife. (3) Your income tax check bounces. (4) You put both contact lenses in the same eye. (5) Your wife says, "Good morning, Bill" and your name is George. (6) You wake up to the soothing sound of flowing water... the day after you bought a waterbed. (7) You go on your honeymoon to a remote little hotel and the desk clerk, bell hop, and manager have a "Welcome Back" party for your spouse. | |
| The average income of the modern teenager is about 2 a.m. | |
| There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.' -- Michael Lara | |
| Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so. -- Josh Billings | |
| My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income. -- Errol Flynn Any man who has $10,000 left when he dies is a failure. -- Errol Flynn | |
| The easiest way to figure the cost of living is to take your income and add ten percent. | |
| "There is no Father Christmas. It's just a marketing ploy to make low income parents' lives a misery." "... I want you to picture the trusting face of a child, streaked with tears because of what you just said." "I want you to picture the face of its mother, because one week's dole won't pay for one Master of the Universe Battlecruiser!" -- Filthy Rich and Catflap | |
| MY income is ALL disposable! | |
