|Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English)||by Linux fortune|
|When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I|
have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with
slightly over half that quantity of beer.
-- Dave Barry, "Postpetroleum Guzzler"
|Excerpts From The First Annual Nerd Bowl (#4)|
BRYANT DUMBELL: Welcome back. After Round 1, the Mad Hatters are ahead 15
to 12. Round 2, the Caffeine Craziness event, is now underway.
JOHN SPLADDEN: This is my favorite part of the Nerdbowl. Each player tries
to consume as many gallons of caffeinated beverages within one minute, and
then points are awarded based on the redness of their eyes.
DUMBELL: I like this event too... I must admit, it's much better than the
"Crash It" event that was played in the Zeroth Annual Nerdbowl last year.
Players were each seated in front of a PC running Windows 98... points
were awarded based on how fast the player could cause a Blue Screen.
SPLADDEN: Ah, yes, I remember that. Everybody complained that the event
was too easy. "Where the hell is the challenge?" yelled Chris DiBona while
doing a victory dance after the VA Linux Rich Penguins beat the SuSE Cats
In The Hats last year 121-96.
|OMNIVERSAL AWARENESS?? Oh, YEH!! First you need four GALLONS of JELL-O|
and a BIG WRENCH!! ... I think you drop th'WRENCH in the JELL-O as if
it was a FLAVOR, or an INGREDIENT ... ... or ... I ... um ... WHERE'S
the WASHING MACHINES?
|You are a taxi driver. Your cab is yellow and black, and has been in|
use for only seven years. One of its windshield wipers is broken, and
the carburetor needs adjusting. The tank holds 20 gallons, but at the
moment is only three-quarters full. How old is the taxi driver?"