|Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English)||by Linux fortune|
|Mass Exodus From Hollywood |
During the past week, over 150 Hollywood actors, musicians, writers,
directors, and key grips have quit their day jobs and moved to the Midwest
to engage in quieter occupations such as gardening or accounting. All of
the these people cite piracy as the reason for giving up their careers.
"I simply can't sit by and let my hard work be stolen by some snot nosed
punk over the Internet," explained millionaire movie director Steve
Bergospiel. "There's absolutely no incentive to create movies if they're
going to be transmitted at the speed of light by thousands of infringers.
Such criminal acts personally cost me hundreds -- no, thousands -- of
dollars. I can't take that kind of fear and abuse anymore."
MPAA President Pei Pervue considers the exodus to be proof that Hollywood
is waking up to the fact that they are being "held hostage" by copyright
infringers. "Without copyright protection and government-backed monopolies
on intellectual property, these's absolutely no reason to engage in the
creative process. Now the Internet, with its click-and-pirate technology,
makes it easy for anybody to flout the law and become a copyright
terrorist. With the scales tipped so much in favor of criminals, it's no
wonder some of Hollywood's elite have thrown in the towel. What a shame."
|If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it|
is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.
-- Joseph C. Goulden
|The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be|
regarded as a criminal offence.
-- Edsger W. Dijkstra, SIGPLAN Notices, Volume 17, Number 5
|Political history is far too criminal a subject to be a fit thing to|
-- W.H. Auden
|The Least Successful Police Dogs|
America has a very strong candidate in "La Dur", a fearsome looking
schnauzer hound, who was retired from the Orlando police force in Florida
in 1978. He consistently refused to do anything which might ruffle or
offend the criminal classes.
His handling officer, Rick Grim, had to admit: "He just won't go up
and bite them. I got sick and tired of doing that dog's work for him."
The British contenders in this category, however, took things a
stage further. "Laddie" and "Boy" were trained as detector dogs for drug
raids. Their employment was terminated following a raid in the Midlands in
While the investigating officer questioned two suspects, they
patted and stroked the dogs who eventually fell asleep in front of the
fire. When the officer moved to arrest the suspects, one dog growled at
him while the other leapt up and bit his thigh.
-- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
|Florence Flask was ... dressing for the opera when she turned to her|
husband and screamed, "Erlenmeyer! My joules! Someone has stolen my
"Now, now, my dear," replied her husband, "keep your balance and reflux
a moment. Perhaps they're mislead."
"No, I know they're stolen," cried Florence. "I remember putting them
in my burette ... We must call a copper."
Erlenmeyer did so, and the flatfoot who turned up, one Sherlock Ohms,
said the outrage looked like the work of an arch-criminal by the name
of Lawrence Ium.
"We must be careful -- he's a free radical, ultraviolet, and
dangerous. His girlfriend is a chlorine at the Palladium. Maybe I can
catch him there." With that, he jumped on his carbon cycle in an
activated state and sped off along the reaction pathway ...
-- Daniel B. Murphy, "Precipitations"
|There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.|
-- Mark Twain
| "You have heard me speak of Professor Moriarty?"|
"The famous scientific criminal, as famous among crooks as --"
"My blushes, Watson," Holmes murmured, in a deprecating voice.
"I was about to say 'as he is unknown to the public.'"
-- A. Conan Doyle, "The Valley of Fear"
|And do you not think that each of you women is an Eve? The judgement of God|
upon your sex endures today; and with it invariably endures your position of
criminal at the bar of justice.
- Tertullian, second-century Christian writer, misogynist
|Excitement and danger await your induction to tracer duty! As a tracer,|
you must rid the computer networks of slimy, criminal data thieves.
They are tricky and the action gets tough, so watch out! Utilizing all
your skills, you'll either get your man or you'll get burned!
-- advertising for the computer game "Tracers"
|"There is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress."|
-- Mark Twain
|Are your glasses mended with a strip of masking tape right over your nose?|
Do you put pennies in the slots in your penny loafers?
Does your bow-tie flash "hey you kid" in red neon at parties?
Do you think pizza before noon is unhealthy?
Do you use the "greasy kid's stuff" to stick down your cowlick?
Do you wear a "nerd-pack" in your shirt pocket to keep the dozen
or so pencils from marking the cloth?
Do you think Mary Jane is somebody's name?
Is illegal fishing something only a daring criminal would do?
Is Batman your hero? Superman? Green Lantern? The Shadow?
Do you think girls who kiss on the first date are loose?