|Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English)||by Linux fortune|
|Kiss a non-smoker; taste the difference.|
|Woody: What's going on, Mr. Peterson?|
Norm: Let's talk about what's going *in* Mr. Peterson. A beer, Woody.
-- Cheers, Paint Your Office
Sam: How's life treating you?
Norm: It's not, Sammy, but that doesn't mean you can't.
-- Cheers, A Kiss is Still a Kiss
Woody: Can I pour you a draft, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: A little early, isn't it Woody?
Woody: For a beer?
Norm: No, for stupid questions.
-- Cheers, Let Sleeping Drakes Lie
|It is better to kiss an avocado than to get in a fight with an aardvark.|
|Kiss me twice. I'm schizophrenic.|
|An office party is not, as is sometimes supposed the Managing Director's|
chance to kiss the tea-girl. It is the tea-girl's chance to kiss the
Managing Director (however bizarre an ambition this may seem to anyone
who has seen the Managing Director face on).
-- Katherine Whitehorn, "Roundabout"
|In case of injury notify your superior immediately. He'll kiss it and|
make it better.
|A kiss is a course of procedure, cunningly devised, for the mutual|
stoppage of speech at a moment when words are superfluous.
|I'd love to kiss you, but I just washed my hair.|
-- Bette Davis, "Cabin in the Cotton"
|I'd just as soon kiss a Wookie.|
-- Princess Leia Organa
|'Scuse me, while I kiss the sky!|
-- Robert James Marshall (Jimi) Hendrix
|The Great Movie Posters:|
KATHERINE HEPBURN as the lying, stealing, singing, preying witch girl
of the Ozarks... "Low down white trash"? Maybe so -- but let her hear
you say it and she'll break your head to prove herself a lady!
-- Spitfire (1934)
Do Native Women Live With Apes?
-- Love Life of a Gorilla (1937)
When she looked into his eyes, felt his arms around her -- she
was no longer Tura, mysterious white goddess of the jungle tribes --
she was no longer the frozen-hearted high priestess under whose hypnotic
spell the worshippers of the great crocodile god meekly bowed -- she
was a girl in love!
SEE the ravening charge of the hundred scared CROCODILES!
-- Her Jungle Love (1938)
LOVE! HATE! JOY! FEAR! TORMENT! PANIC! SHAME! RAGE!
-- Intermezzo (1939)
|Even in the moment of our earliest kiss,|
When sighed the straitened bud into the flower,
Sat the dry seed of most unwelcome this;
And that I knew, though not the day and hour.
Too season-wise am I, being country-bred,
To tilt at autumn or defy the frost:
Snuffing the chill even as my fathers did,
I say with them, "What's out tonight is lost."
I only hoped, with the mild hope of all
Who watch the leaf take shape upon the tree,
A fairer summer and a later fall
Than in these parts a man is apt to see,
And sunny clusters ripened for the wine:
I tell you this across the blackened vine.
-- Edna St. Vincent Millay, "Even in the Moment of
Our Earliest Kiss", 1931
|Go placidly amid the noise and waste,|
And remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.
Avoid quiet and passive persons, unless you are in need of sleep.
Rotate your tires.
Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself,
And heed well their advice -- even though they be turkeys.
Know what to kiss -- and when.
Remember that two wrongs never make a right,
But that three do.
Wherever possible, put people on "HOLD".
Be comforted, that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment,
And despite the changing fortunes of time,
There is always a big future in computer maintenance.
You are a fluke of the universe ...
You have no right to be here.
Whether you can hear it or not, the universe
Is laughing behind your back.
-- National Lampoon, "Deteriorata"
|Oh, give me a locus where the gravitons focus|
Where the three-body problem is solved,
Where the microwaves play down at three degrees K,
And the cold virus never evolved. (chorus)
We eat algea pie, our vacuum is high,
Our ball bearings are perfectly round.
Our horizon is curved, our warheads are MIRVed,
And a kilogram weighs half a pound. (chorus)
If we run out of space for our burgeoning race
No more Lebensraum left for the Mensch
When we're ready to start, we can take Mars apart,
If we just find a big enough wrench. (chorus)
I'm sick of this place, it's just McDonald's in space,
And living up here is a bore.
Tell the shiggies, "Don't cry," they can kiss me goodbye
'Cause I'm moving next week to L4! (chorus)
CHORUS: Home, home on LaGrange,
Where the space debris always collects,
We possess, so it seems, two of Man's greatest dreams:
Solar power and zero-gee sex.
-- to Home on the Range
|The lights are on,|
but you're not home;
is not your own;
Your heart sweats,
Your teeth grind;
and you'll be mine...
You like to think that you're immune to the stuff
It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough;
You know you're gonna have to face it,
You're addicted to love!"
-- Robert Palmer
|The Poet Whose Badness Saved His Life|
The most important poet in the seventeenth century was George
Wither. Alexander Pope called him "wretched Wither" and Dryden said of his
verse that "if they rhymed and rattled all was well".
In our own time, "The Dictionary of National Biography" notes that his
work "is mainly remarkable for its mass, fluidity and flatness. It usually
lacks any genuine literary quality and often sinks into imbecile doggerel".
High praise, indeed, and it may tempt you to savour a typically
rewarding stanza: It is taken from "I loved a lass" and is concerned with
the higher emotions.
She would me "Honey" call,
She'd -- O she'd kiss me too.
But now alas! She's left me
Falero, lero, loo.
Among other details of his mistress which he chose to immortalize
was her prudent choice of footwear.
The fives did fit her shoe.
In 1639 the great poet's life was endangered after his capture by
the Royalists during the English Civil War. When Sir John Denham, the
Royalist poet, heard of Wither's imminent execution, he went to the King and
begged that his life be spared. When asked his reason, Sir John replied,
"Because that so long as Wither lived, Denham would not be accounted the
worst poet in England."
-- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
4 cups sugar 16 tbsp. milk
4 cups brown sugar 4 tsp. vanilla
4 cups shortening 14 cups flour
8 eggs 4 tsp. soda
4 cups peanut butter 4 tsp. salt
Shape dough into balls. Roll in sugar and bake on ungreased cookie
sheet at 375 F. for 10-12 minutes. Immediately top each cookie with a
Hershey's kiss or star pressing down firmly to crack cookie. Makes a
heck of a lot.
|The most exquisite peak in culinary art is conquered when you do right by a|
ham, for a ham, in the very nature of the process it has undergone since last
it walked on its own feet, combines in its flavor the tang of smoky autumnal
woods, the maternal softness of earthy fields delivered of their crop children,
the wineyness of a late sun, the intimate kiss of fertilizing rain, and the
bite of fire. You must slice it thin, almost as thin as this page you hold
in your hands. The making of a ham dinner, like the making of a gentleman,
starts a long, long time before the event.
-- W.B. Courtney, "Reflections of Maryland Country Ham",
from "Congress Eate It Up"
| If I kiss you, that is an psychological interaction.|
On the other hand, if I hit you over the head with a brick,
that is also a psychological interaction.
The difference is that one is friendly and the other is not
The crucial point is if you can tell which is which.
-- Dolph Sharp, "I'm O.K., You're Not So Hot"
|Each kiss is as the first.|
-- Miramanee, Kirk's wife, "The Paradise Syndrome",
|A compliment is something like a kiss through a veil.|
-- Victor Hugo
|Are your glasses mended with a strip of masking tape right over your nose?|
Do you put pennies in the slots in your penny loafers?
Does your bow-tie flash "hey you kid" in red neon at parties?
Do you think pizza before noon is unhealthy?
Do you use the "greasy kid's stuff" to stick down your cowlick?
Do you wear a "nerd-pack" in your shirt pocket to keep the dozen
or so pencils from marking the cloth?
Do you think Mary Jane is somebody's name?
Is illegal fishing something only a daring criminal would do?
Is Batman your hero? Superman? Green Lantern? The Shadow?
Do you think girls who kiss on the first date are loose?
|Kiss me, Kate, we will be married o' Sunday.|
-- William Shakespeare, "The Taming of the Shrew"
|Kiss your keyboard goodbye!|
|A Riverside, California, health ordinance states that two persons may|
not kiss each other without first wiping their lips with carbolized rosewater.
|Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today.|