|Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English)||by Linux fortune|
|The verdict of a jury is the a priori opinion of that juror who smokes|
the worst cigars.
-- H. L. Mencken
|[District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there are|
two sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity:
(1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and
confiscate 53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a pile and hold
a press conference where you announce that they have a street value
of $850 million. These raids never fail, because ALL high schools,
including brand-new, never-used ones, have at least 53 marijuana
cigarettes in the lockers. As far as anyone can tell, the locker
factory puts them there.
(2) Raid an "adult book store" and hold a press conference where you
announce you are charging the owner with 850 counts of being a
piece of human sleaze. This also never fails, because you always
get a conviction. A juror at a pornography trial is not about to
state for the record that he finds nothing obscene about a movie
where actors engage in sexual activities with live snakes and a
fire extinguisher. He is going to convict the bookstore owner, and
vote for the death penalty just to make sure nobody gets the wrong
-- Dave Barry, "Pornography"
|The Worst Jury|
A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when
one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the
remotest clue what was happening.
The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any
evidence at all and, when there was no reply, dismissed him.
The excitement which this caused was only equalled when a second
juror revealed that he spoke not a word of English. A fluent French
speaker, he exhibited great surprised when told, after two days, that he
was hearing a murder trial.
The trial was abandoned when a third juror said that he suffered
from both conditions, being simultaneously unversed in the English language
and nearly as deaf as the first juror.
The judge ordered a retrial.
-- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"