|Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English)||by Linux fortune|
|1 Billion dollars of budget deficit = 1 Gramm-Rudman|
6.023 x 10 to the 23rd power alligator pears = Avocado's number
2 pints = 1 Cavort
Basic unit of Laryngitis = The Hoarsepower
Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line
6 Curses = 1 Hexahex
3500 Calories = 1 Food Pound
1 Mole = 007 Secret Agents
1 Mole = 25 Cagey Bees
1 Dog Pound = 16 oz. of Alpo
1000 beers served at a Twins game = 1 Killibrew
2.4 statute miles of surgical tubing at Yale U. = 1 I.V.League
2000 pounds of chinese soup = 1 Won Ton
10 to the minus 6th power mouthwashes = 1 Microscope
Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier = 1 Machturtle
8 Catfish = 1 Octo-puss
365 Days of drinking Lo-Cal beer. = 1 Lite-year
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
Force needed to accelerate 2.2lbs of cookies = 1 Fig-newton
to 1 meter per second
One half large intestine = 1 Semicolon
10 to the minus 6th power Movie = 1 Microfilm
1000 pains = 1 Megahertz
1 Word = 1 Millipicture
1 Sagan = Billions & Billions
1 Angstrom: measure of computer anxiety = 1000 nail-bytes
10 to the 12th power microphones = 1 Megaphone
10 to the 6th power Bicycles = 2 megacycles
The amount of beauty required launch 1 ship = 1 Millihelen
| Here is the fact of the week, maybe even the fact of the month.|
According to probably reliable sources, the Coca-Cola people are experiencing
severe marketing anxiety in China.
The words "Coca-Cola" translate into Chinese as either (depending
on the inflection) "wax-fattened mare" or "bite the wax tadpole".
Bite the wax tadpole.
There is a sort of rough justice, is there not?
The trouble with this fact, as lovely as it is, is that it's hard
to get a whole column out of it. I'd like to teach the world to bite a wax
tadpole. Coke -- it's the real wax-fattened mare. Not bad, but broad
satiric vistas do not open up.
-- John Carrol, The San Francisco Chronicle
| Then there's the story of the man who avoided reality for 70 years|
with drugs, sex, alcohol, fantasy, TV, movies, records, a hobby, lots of
sleep... And on his 80th birthday died without ever having faced any of
his real problems.
The man's younger brother, who had been facing reality and all his
problems for 50 years with psychiatrists, nervous breakdowns, tics, tension,
headaches, worry, anxiety and ulcers, was so angry at his brother for having
gotten away scott free that he had a paralyzing stroke.
The moral to this story is that there ain't no justice that we can
stand to live with.
-- R. Geis
|There's no such thing as pure pleasure; some anxiety always goes with it.|