|Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English)
||by Linux fortune
|> ScanMail for Microsoft Exchange has detected virus-infected attachment(s).|
> Warning to sender. ScanMail detected a virus in an email attachment you sent.
You are an idiot! You have deleted a correctly-written important
shell-script. You, again, are an IDIOT, IDIOT, IDIOT, IDIOT, creep.
- Richard B. Johnson on linux-kernel
|"It is easier to port a shell than a shell script."|
-- Larry Wall
|: I've heard that there is a shell (bourne or csh) to perl filter, does|
: anyone know of this or where I can get it?
Yeah, you filter it through Tom Christiansen. :-) -- Larry Wall
|Your csh still thinks true is false. Write to your vendor today and tell|
them that next year Configure ought to "rm /bin/csh" unless they fix their
blasted shell. :-) -- Larry Wall in Configure from the perl distribution
|Microsoft ActivePromo Campaign: "Frequent Upgrade Points"|
Microsoft's PR masterminds are planning a massive marketing campaign,
code-named "ActivePromo 2000", to promote the upcoming release of Windows
2000 (scheduled for February 2001). This marketing campaign will include a
"Frequent Upgrade Points" promotion.
Customers who purchase upgrades to Windows, Office, or other Microsoft
"solutions" will receive "frequent upgrade points" (FUPs) when they register
online. These points, like Frequent Flyer Miles, can be redeemed in the
future for discounts on other Microsoft upgrades. This program, combined
with the fact that older versions of some Microsoft programs have glaring
Y2K problems, should be enough to convince many people to shell out big
bucks to upgrade to a more bloated Microsoft operating system. The company
hopes to eradicate 99% of Windows 3.x installations by 2003.
|New Linux Companies Hope To Get Rich Quick (#1)|
Adopt-A-Beowulf: the latest company to hop the Linux bandwagon
as it tramples down Wall Street.
Every geek dreams of owning their own Beowulf supercomputer. Very few
people (except for dotcom billionnaires) can afford to build one, but the
folks at Adopt-a-Beowulf can provide the next best thing: a virtual
beowulf. For US$49.95, you can "adopt" your own 256-node Beowulf cluster.
You won't own it, or even get to see it in person, but you will receive
photos of the cluster, a monthly newsletter about its operation, and a
limited shell account on it.
The company hopes to branch out into other fields. Some slated products
include Adopt-A-Penguin, Lease-A-Camel (for Perl mongers), and
Adopt-A-Distro (in which your name will be used as the code-name for a
beta release of a major Linux distribution or other Open Source project).
|DeCSS T-Shirt Used To Commit Piracy! |
College student Cody Potter stunned the world yesterday when he used a
T-shirt with the printed DeCSS source code to illegally copy a DVD of
"Star Trek XXI: We Promise This Is The Last One". Well, it wasn't the
actual DeCSS source code. The shirt contained a Perl script which spits
out a bash shell script which produces a GW-BASIC program which outputs a
ROT13-encoded Python script that manufactures a Pig-Latin-encoded Java
program that finally produces the real DeCSS C source code when executed.
|Desist from enumerating your fowl prior to their emergence from the shell.|
|Plato, by the way, wanted to banish all poets from his proposed Utopia|
because they were liars. The truth was that Plato knew philosophers
couldn't compete successfully with poets.
-- Kilgore Trout (Philip J. Farmer), "Venus on the Half Shell"
|<Mercury> <CJ|BiZKiT-0-> i can upload to linux server tho|
<Mercury> <CJ|BiZKiT-0-> i got a shell account on one
<Mercury> <Mercury> Whats it running?
<Mercury> <CJ|BiZKiT-0-> umm
<Mercury> <CJ|BiZKiT-0-> apache i think
<Mercury> Help, please help..
* Omni chuckles
|<Culus_> We are also hoping to release a version of linux where shell is|
replaced by perl to a large degree. Adding to that, there are a
few of us who would like to see a pure perl platform.. PerlOS :)
* Culus_ looks on in horror
<mstone> Culus_: on the up side, you can type damn near anything in at the
command prompt :)
|Linux supports the notion of a command line or a shell for the same reason|
that only children read books with only pictures in them. Language, be it
English or something else, is the only tool flexible enough to accomplish
a sufficiently broad range of tasks.
-- Bill Garrett
| UNIX Shell is the Best Fourth Generation Programming Language|
It is the UNIX shell that makes it possible to do applications in a small
fraction of the code and time it takes in third generation languages. In
the shell you process whole files at a time, instead of only a line at a
time. And, a line of code in the UNIX shell is one or more programs,
which do more than pages of instructions in a 3GL. Applications can be
developed in hours and days, rather than months and years with traditional
systems. Most of the other 4GLs available today look more like COBOL or
RPG, the most tedious of the third generation lanaguages.
"UNIX Relational Database Management: Application Development in the UNIX
Environment" by Rod Manis, Evan Schaffer, and Robert Jorgensen. Prentice
Hall Software Series. Brian Kerrighan, Advisor. 1988.
|How many Unix hacks does it take to change a light bulb?|
Let's see, can you use a shell script for that or does it need a C program?
|If a system is administered wisely,|
its users will be content.
They enjoy hacking their code
and don't waste time implementing
labor-saving shell scripts.
Since they dearly love their accounts,
they aren't interested in other machines.
There may be telnet, rlogin, and ftp,
but these don't access any hosts.
There may be an arsenal of cracks and malware,
but nobody ever uses them.
People enjoy reading their mail,
take pleasure in being with their newsgroups,
spend weekends working at their terminals,
delight in the doings at the site.
And even though the next system is so close
that users can hear its key clicks and biff beeps,
they are content to die of old age
without ever having gone to see it.
|There's little in taking or giving,|
There's little in water or wine:
This living, this living, this living,
Was never a project of mine.
Oh, hard is the struggle, and sparse is
The gain of the one at the top,
For art is a form of catharsis,
And love is a permanent flop,
And work is the province of cattle,
And rest's for a clam in a shell,
So I'm thinking of throwing the battle --
Would you kindly direct me to hell?
-- Dorothy Parker
|crop circles in the corn shell|
|Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.|
-- Erma Bombeck
|Windows and DOS -- a turtle and it's shell.|
|Shell to DOS... Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...|
|Fortune suggests uses for YOUR favorite UNIX commands!|
[Where is Jimmy Hoffa? (C shell)
^How did the^sex change operation go? (C shell)
"How would you rate BSD vs. System V?
%blow (C shell)
'thou shalt not mow thy grass at 8am' (C shell)
got a light? (C shell)
!!:Say, what do you think of margarine? (C shell)
PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense (Bourne shell)
make "the perfect dry martini"
man -kisses dog (anything up to 4.3BSD)
i=Hoffa ; >$i; $i; rm $i; rm $i (Bourne shell)
|Fortune suggests uses for YOUR favorite UNIX commands!|
ar t "God"
drink < bottle; opener (Bourne Shell)
cat "food in tin cans" (all but 4.BSD)
Hey UNIX! Got a match? (V6 or C shell)
mkdir matter; cat > matter (Bourne Shell)
man: Why did you get a divorce? (C shell)
date me (anything up to 4.3BSD)
make "heads or tails of all this"
who is smart
If I had a ) for every dollar of the national debt, what would I have?
sleep with me (anything up to 4.3BSD)
| It is a period of system war. User programs, striking from a hidden|
directory, have won their first victory against the evil Administrative Empire.
During the battle, User spies managed to steal secret source code to the
Empire's ultimate program: the Are-Em Star, a privileged root program with
enough power to destroy an entire file structure. Pursued by the Empire's
sinister audit trail, Princess _LPA0 races ~ aboard her shell script,
custodian of the stolen listings that could save her people, and restore
freedom and games to the network...
|Save energy: Drive a smaller shell.|
|Save gas, don't use the shell.|