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Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English)
by Linux fortune
Then a man said: Speak to us of Expectations.
He then said: If a man does not see or hear the waters of the
Jordan, then he should not taste the pomegranate or ply his wares in an
If a man would not labour in the salt and rock quarries then he
should not accept of the Earth that which he refuses to give of
Such a man would expect a pear of a peach tree.
Such a man would expect a stone to lay an egg.
Such a man would expect
to assemble a lawnmower.
-- Kehlog Albran, "The Profit"
You first have to decide whether to use the short or the long form. The
short form is what the Internal Revenue Service calls "simplified", which
means it is designed for people who need the help of a
expert to distinguish between their first and last names. Here's the
"(1) How much did you make? (AMOUNT)
(2) How much did we here at the government take out? (AMOUNT)
(3) Hey! Sounds like we took too much! So we're going to
send an official government check for (ONE-FIFTEENTH OF
THE AMOUNT WE TOOK) directly to the (YOUR LAST NAME)
household at (YOUR ADDRESS), for you to spend in any way
you please! Which just goes to show you, (YOUR FIRST
NAME), that it pays to file the short form!"
The IRS wants you to use this form because it gets to keep most of your
money. So unless you have pond silt for brains, you want the long form.
-- Dave Barry, "Sweating Out Taxes"
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