|Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English)
||by Linux fortune
|"Don't come back until you have him", the Tick-Tock Man said quietly,|
sincerely, extremely dangerously.
They used dogs. They used probes. They used cardio plate crossoffs.
They used teepers. They used bribery. They used stick tites. They used
intimidation. They used torment. They used torture. They used finks.
They used cops. They used search and seizure. They used fallaron. They
used betterment incentives. They used finger prints. They used the
bertillion system. They used cunning. They used guile. They used treachery.
They used Raoul-Mitgong but he wasn't much help. They used applied physics.
They used techniques of criminology. And what the hell, they caught him.
-- Harlan Ellison, "Repent, Harlequin, said the Tick-Tock Man"
|Q: Why should you always serve a Southern Carolina football man|
soup in a plate?
A: 'Cause if you give him a bowl, he'll throw it away.
|Is it NOUVELLE CUISINE when 3 olives are struggling with a scallop in a|
plate of SAUCE MORNAY?
|Mmmmmm-MMMMMM!! A plate of STEAMING PIECES of a PIG mixed with the|
shreds of SEVERAL CHICKENS!! ... Oh BOY!! I'm about to swallow a
TORN-OFF section of a COW'S LEFT LEG soaked in COTTONSEED OIL and
SUGAR!! ... Let's see ... Next, I'll have the GROUND-UP flesh of CUTE,
BABY LAMBS fried in the MELTED, FATTY TISSUES from a warm-blooded
animal someone once PETTED!! ... YUM!! That was GOOD!! For DESSERT,
I'll have a TOFU BURGER with BEAN SPROUTS on a stone-ground, WHOLE
|Fortune's Contribution of the Month to the Animal Rights Debate:|
I'll stay out of animals' way if they'll stay out of mine.
"Hey you, get off my plate"
-- Roger Midnight
|It's so beautifully arranged on the plate -- you know someone's fingers|
have been all over it.
-- Julia Child on nouvelle cuisine.
|MOCK APPLE PIE (No Apples Needed)|
Pastry to two crust 9-inch pie 36 RITZ Crackers
2 cups water 2 cups sugar
2 teaspoons cream of tartar 2 tablespoons lemon juice
Grated rind of one lemon Butter or margarine
Roll out bottom crust of pastry and fit into 9-inch pie plate. Break
RITZ Crackers coarsely into pastry-lined plate. Combine water, sugar
and cream of tartar in saucepan, boil gently for 15 minutes. Add lemon
juice and rind. Cool. Pour this syrup over Crackers, dot generously
with butter or margarine and sprinkle with cinnamon. Cover with top
crust. Trim and flute edges together. Cut slits in top crust to let
steam escape. Bake in a hot oven (425 F) 30 to 35 minutes, until crust
is crisp and golden. Serve warm. Cut into 6 to 8 slices.
-- Found lurking on a Ritz Crackers box
|RULES OF EATING -- THE BRONX DIETER'S CREED|
(1) Never eat on an empty stomach.
(2) Never leave the table hungry.
(3) When traveling, never leave a country hungry.
(4) Enjoy your food.
(5) Enjoy your companion's food.
(6) Really taste your food. It may take several portions to
accomplish this, especially if subtly seasoned.
(7) Really feel your food. Texture is important. Compare,
for example, the texture of a turnip to that of a
brownie. Which feels better against your cheeks?
(8) Never eat between snacks, unless it's a meal.
(9) Don't feel you must finish everything on your plate. You
can always eat it later.
(10) Avoid any wine with a childproof cap.
(11) Avoid blue food.
-- Richard Smith, "The Bronx Diet"
|Plate voltage too low on demodulator tube|
|"`Hand me the rap-rod, Plate Captain.'|
The little waiter's eyebrows wandered about his forehead in
`I beg your pardon, sir?' he said.
`The phone, waiter,' said Zaphod, grabbing it off him.
`Shee, you guys are so unhip it's a wonder your bums don't
- Zaphod discovers that waiters are the least hip people
in the Universe.
|You are absolute plate-glass. I see to the very back of your mind.|
-- Sherlock Holmes
No guarantee of accuracy or completeness!
©TU Chemnitz, 2006-2013