|Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English)
||by Linux fortune
| A MODERN FABLE|
Aesop's fables and other traditional children's stories involve allegory
far too subtle for the youth of today. Children need an updated message
with contemporary circumstance and plot line, and short enough to suit
today's minute attention span.
The Troubled Aardvark
Once upon a time, there was an aardvark whose only pleasure in life was
driving from his suburban bungalow to his job at a large brokerage house
in his brand new 4x4. He hated his manipulative boss, his conniving and
unethical co-workers, his greedy wife, and his snivelling, spoiled
children. One day, the aardvark reflected on the meaning of his life and
his career and on the unchecked, catastrophic decline of his nation, its
pathetic excuse for leadership, and the complete ineffectiveness of any
personal effort he could make to change the status quo. Overcome by a
wave of utter depression and self-doubt, he decided to take the only
course of action that would bring him greater comfort and happiness: he
drove to the mall and bought imported consumer electronics goods.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Invest in foreign consumer electronics manufacturers.
-- Tom Annau
|I'd been hearing all sorts of gloom and doom predictions for Y2K, so I|
thought I'd heed some of the advice that the experts have been giving:
Fill up the car's gas tank, stock up on canned goods, fill up the bathtub
with water, and so on.
I guess I wasn't fully awake when I completed my preparations late last
night. This morning I found the kitchen shelves soaked in gasoline, water
in the car's gas tank, and my bathtub filled with baked beans.
-- Dan Pearl in a message to rec.humor.funny
|UH-OH!! We're out of AUTOMOBILE PARTS and RUBBER GOODS!|
|A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while|
the policeman searches you.
|Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest|
way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless.
-- Sinclair Lewis
A life-style tactic similar to Status Substitution. The
nonownership of material goods flaunted as a token of moral and
-- Douglas Coupland, "Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated
|[From an announcement of a congress of the International Ontopsychology|
Association, in Rome]:
The Ontopsychological school, availing itself of new research criteria and
of a new telematic epistemology, maintains that social modes do not spring
from dialectics of territory or of class, or of consumer goods, or of means
of power, but rather from dynamic latencies capillarized in millions of
individuals in system functions which, once they have reached the event
maturation, burst forth in catastrophic phenomenology engaging a suitable
stereotype protagonist or duty marionette (general, president, political
party, etc.) to consummate the act of social schizophrenia in mass genocide.
|You must include all income you receive in the form of money, property|
and services if it is not specifically exempt. Report property (goods)
and services at their fair market values. Examples include income from
bartering or swapping transactions, side commissions, kickbacks, rent
paid in services, illegal activities (such as stealing, drugs, etc.),
cash skimming by proprietors and tradesmen, "moonlighting" services,
gambling, prizes and awards. Not reporting such income can lead to
prosecution for perjury and fraud.
-- Excerpt from Taxachussetts income tax forms
No guarantee of accuracy or completeness!
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