|Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English)
||by Linux fortune
|A cow is a completely automated milk-manufacturing machine. It is encased|
in untanned leather and mounted on four vertical, movable supports, one at
each corner. The front end of the machine, or input, contains the cutting
and grinding mechanism, utilizing a unique feedback device. Here also are
the headlights, air inlet and exhaust, a bumper and a foghorn.
At the rear, the machine carries the milk-dispensing equipment as
well as a built-in flyswatter and insect repeller. The central portion
houses a hydro- chemical-conversion unit. Briefly, this consists of four
fermentation and storage tanks connected in series by an intricate network
of flexible plumbing. This assembly also contains the central heating plant
complete with automatic temperature controls, pumping station and main
ventilating system. The waste disposal apparatus is located to the rear of
this central section.
Cows are available fully-assembled in an assortment of sizes and
colors. Production output ranges from 2 to 20 tons of milk per year. In
brief, the main external visible features of the cow are: two lookers, two
hookers, four stander-uppers, four hanger-downers, and a swishy-wishy.
| "The best thing for being sad," replied Merlin, beginning to puff|
and blow, "is to learn something. That's the only thing that never fails.
You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at
night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love,
you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your
honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for
it then -- to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is
the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be
tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting. Learning
is the only thing for you. Look what a lot of things there are to learn."
-- T.H. White, "The Once and Future King"
|Hear about the Californian terrorist that tried to blow up a bus?|
Burned his lips on the exhaust pipe.
| Pittsburgh driver's test|
(4) Exhaust gas is
(b) not harmful.
(d) a punk band.
The correct answer is (b). The meddling Washington eco-freak communist
bureaucrats who say otherwise are liars. (Message to those who answered (d).
Go back to California where you came from. Your kind are not welcome here.)
No guarantee of accuracy or completeness!
©TU Chemnitz, 2006-2013