|Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English)
||by Linux fortune
|Invasion of the Dancing Penguin|
Those annoying, dancing cartoon characters embedded in software applications
are no longer confined to Microsoft programs. They have entered the realm
of Linux. A new Linux distribution under development, called LinTux,
promises to provide a more "user-friendly" environment through its "Dancing
Dancing Tux will "guide" users through the installation process and will be
a permanent fixture of the X root window. The LinTux staff demonstrated a
prototype version of the Dancing Tux program to this Humorix reporter. It
was certainly impressive, but, like the Dancing Paper Clip in Microsoft
Office, it becomes annoying very fast.
The one redeeming feature of LinTux is that, when the system is idle,
Dancing Tux becomes a make-shift screen saver. The animations included in
the prototype were quite amusing. For instance, in one scene, Tux chases
Bill Gates through an Antarctic backdrop. In another animation, Tux can be
seen drinking beers with his penguin pals and telling Microsoft jokes.
|"Anyone can say 'no'. It is the first word a child learns and often the|
first word he speaks. It is a cheap word because it requires no
explanation, and many men and women have acquired a reputation for
intelligence who know only this word and have used it in place of
thought on every occasion."
-- Chuck Jones (Warner Bros. animation director.)
|FORTUNE'S GUIDE TO DEALING WITH REAL-LIFE SCIENCE FICTION: #6|
What to do...
if a starship, equipped with an FTL hyperdrive lands in your backyard?
First of all, do not run after your camera. You will not have any
film, and, given the state of computer animation, noone will believe
you anyway. Be polite. Remember, if they have an FTL hyperdrive,
they can probably vaporize you, should they find you to be rude.
Direct them to the White House lawn, which is where they probably
wanted to land, anyway. A good road map should help.
if you wake up in the middle of the night, and discover that your
closet contains an alternate dimension?
Don't walk in. You almost certainly will not be able to get back,
and alternate dimensions are almost never any fun. Remain calm
and go back to bed. Close the door first, so that the cat does not
wander off. Check your closet in the morning. If it still contains
an alternate dimension, nail it shut.
No guarantee of accuracy or completeness!
©TU Chemnitz, 2006-2013