|Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English)
||by Linux fortune
| [I plan] to see, hear, touch, and destroy everything in my path,|
including beets, rutabagas, and most random vegetables, but excluding yams,
as I am absolutely terrified of yams...
Actually, I think my fear of yams began in my early youth, when many
of my young comrades pelted me with same for singing songs of far-off lands
and deep blue seas in a language closely resembling that of the common sow.
My psychosis was further impressed into my soul as I reached adolescence,
when, while skipping through a field of yams, light-heartedly tossing flowers
into the stratosphere, a great yam-picking machine tore through the fields,
pursuing me to the edge of the great plantation, where I escaped by diving
into a great ditch filled with a mixture of water and pig manure, which may
explain my tendency to scream, "Here come the Martians! Hide the eggs!" every
time I have pork. But I digress. The fact remains that I cannot rationally
deal with yams, and pigs are terrible conversationalists.
|Brief History Of Linux (#14)|
Military Intelligence: Not an oxymoron in 1969
It was the Department Of Defense that commissioned the ARPANET in 1969, a
rare example of the US military breaking away from its official motto,
"The Leading Edge Of Yesterday's Technology(tm)".
In the years leading up to 1969, packet switching technology had evolved
enough to make the ARPANET possible. Bolt Beranek and Newman, Inc.
received the ARPA contract in 1968 for packet switching "Interface Message
Processors". US Senator Edward Kennedy, always on the ball, sent a
telegram to BBN praising them for their non-denominational "Interfaith"
Message Processors, an act unsurpassed by elected representatives until Al
Gore invented the Internet years later.
While ARPANET started with only four nodes in 1969, it evolved rapidly.
Email was first used in 1971; by 1975 the first mailing list, MsgGroup,
was created by Steve Walker when he sent a "First post!" messages to it.
In 1979 all productive use of ARPANET ceased when USENET and the first MUD
were created. In 1983, when the network surpassed 1,000 hosts, a study
showed that 90.4% of all traffic was devoted to email and USENET flame wars.
|Brief History Of Linux (#28)|
Free, Open, Libre, Whatever Software
Eric S. Raymond's now famous paper, "The Cathedral and the Bazaar", set
the stage for the lucrative business of giving software away. In CatB, ESR
likened the software industry to an anarchistic bazaar, with each vendor
looking out for himself, trying to hoodwink customers and fellow vendors.
The produce vendor (i.e. Apple), for instance, felt no need to cooperate
with the crystal-ball seller (Oracle) or the con artist hocking miracle
drugs (Microsoft). Each kept their property and trade secrets to
themselves, hoping to gain an edge and make money fast. "With enough
eyeballs, all bug-ridden software programs are marketable," ESR observed.
ESR contrasted the "caveat emptor" Bazaar to an idealistic Cathedral model
used by free software developers. European cathedrals of medieval days
were built block-by-block with extensive volunteer manpower from the
surrounding community. Such projects were "open" in the sense that
everybody could see their progress, and interested people could wander
inside and offer comments or praise about construction methods. "Those
medieval cathedrals are still standing," ESR mused. "But bazaars built in
the 14th Century are long gone, a victim of their inferior nature."
|Microsoft Website Crashes, World Does Not Come To An End |
REDMOND, WA -- In a crushing blow to Bill Gates' ego, world civilization
did not collapse when the Microsoft website was offline for an extended
period last week.
During the anti-trust trial, Microsoft's lawyers repeatedly warned that if
the company was broken up or dealt any other penalty (no matter how
trivial), it would not only cost the tech industry billions of dollars,
but it could decimate the entire world economy and even bring about the
start of World War III. At the risk of sounding like a biased, slanted,
overzealous journalist, let me just say: Yeah, right!
The stunning realization that the world does not revolve around Redmond
(yet) has plunged many Microsoft executives into shock. "But microsoft.com
is the single most important website in the world! And Microsoft is the
single most important company in the Universe! This can't be happening!
Why isn't civilization teetering on the edge right now?" said one
depressed President Of Executive Vice.
|A Mexican newspaper reports that bored Royal Air Force pilots stationed|
on the Falkland Islands have devised what they consider a marvelous new
game. Noting that the local penguins are fascinated by airplanes, the
pilots search out a beach where the birds are gathered and fly slowly
along it at the water's edge. Perhaps ten thousand penguins turn their
heads in unison watching the planes go by, and when the pilots turn
around and fly back, the birds turn their heads in the opposite
direction, like spectators at a slow-motion tennis match. Then, the
paper reports "The pilots fly out to sea and directly to the penguin
colony and overfly it. Heads go up, up, up, and ten thousand penguins
fall over gently onto their backs.
-- Audobon Society Magazine
| "I think they're going to take all this money that we spend now on war|
and death --"
"And make them spend it on life."
-- Edith Keeler and Kirk, "The City on the Edge of Forever",
|"I'm a doctor, not a mechanic."|
-- "The Doomsday Machine", when asked if he had heard of
the idea of a doomsday machine.
"I'm a doctor, not an escalator."
-- "Friday's Child", when asked to help the very pregnant
Ellen up a steep incline.
"I'm a doctor, not a bricklayer."
-- Devil in the Dark", when asked to patch up the Horta.
"I'm a doctor, not an engineer."
-- "Mirror, Mirror", when asked by Scotty for help in
Engineering aboard the ISS Enterprise.
"I'm a doctor, not a coalminer."
-- "The Empath", on being beneath the surface of Minara 2.
"I'm a surgeon, not a psychiatrist."
-- "City on the Edge of Forever", on Edith Keeler's remark
that Kirk talked strangely.
"I'm no magician, Spock, just an old country doctor."
-- "The Deadly Years", to Spock while trying to cure the
aging effects of the rogue comet near Gamma Hydra 4.
"What am I, a doctor or a moonshuttle conductor?"
-- "The Corbomite Maneuver", when Kirk rushed off from a
physical exam to answer the alert.
|Lots of people drink from the wrong bottle sometimes.|
-- Edith Keeler, "The City on the Edge of Forever",
|Peace was the way.|
-- Kirk, "The City on the Edge of Forever", stardate unknown
|Prepare for tomorrow -- get ready.|
-- Edith Keeler, "The City On the Edge of Forever",
|Time is fluid ... like a river with currents, eddies, backwash.|
-- Spock, "The City on the Edge of Forever", stardate 3134.0
|You! What PLANET is this!|
-- McCoy, "The City on the Edge of Forever", stardate 3134.0
|Sigh. I like to think it's just the Linux people who want to be on|
the "leading edge" so bad they walk right off the precipice.
(Craig E. Groeschel)
|Trailing Edge Technologies is pleased to announce the following|
1) For a negotiated price (no quatloos accepted) one of our flaming
representatives will flame the living shit out of the poster of
your choice. The price is inversly proportional to how much of
an asshole the target it. We cannot be convinced to flame Dennis
Ritchie. Matt Crawford flames are free.
2) For a negotiated price (same arrangement) the TETflame programme
is offering ``flame insurence''. Under this arrangement, if
one of our policy holders is flamed, we will cancel the offending
article and flame the flamer, to a crisp.
3) The TETflame flaming representatives include: Richard Sexton, Oleg
Kisalev, Diane Holt, Trish O'Tauma, Dave Hill, Greg Nowak and our most
recent aquisition, Keith Doyle. But all he will do is put you in his
kill file. Weemba by special arrangement.
-- Richard Sexton
"I will never understand people."
"There's nothing to it. All you have to do is take a close look
at yourself and you will understand everyone else. How would Seldon have
worked out his Plan -- and I don't care how subtle his mathematics was --
if he didn't understand people; and how could he have done that if people
weren't easy to understand? You show me someone who can't understand
people and I'll show you someone who has built up a false image of himself
-- no offense intended."
-- Asimov, "Foundation's Edge"
The perfect body heat achieved by having one leg under the
sheet and one hanging off the edge of the bed.
-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
|And as we stand on the edge of darkness|
Let our chant fill the void
That others may know
In the land of the night
The ship of the sun
Is drawn by
The grateful dead.
-- Tibetan "Book of the Dead," ca. 4000 BC.
|I stood on the leading edge,|
The eastern seaboard at my feet.
"Jump!" said Yoko Ono
I'm too scared and good-looking, I cried.
Go on and give it a try,
Why prolong the agony, all men must die.
-- Roger Waters, "The Pros and Cons of Hitchhiking"
|Let me not to the marriage of true minds|
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
|"No program is perfect,"|
They said with a shrug.
"The customer's happy--
What's one little bug?"
But he was determined, Then change two, then three more,
The others went home. As year followed year.
He dug out the flow chart And strangers would comment,
Deserted, alone. "Is that guy still here?"
Night passed into morning. He died at the console
The room was cluttered Of hunger and thirst
With core dumps, source listings. Next day he was buried
"I'm close," he muttered. Face down, nine edge first.
Chain smoking, cold coffee, And his wife through her tears
Logic, deduction. Accepted his fate.
"I've got it!" he cried, Said "He's not really gone,
"Just change one instruction." He's just working late."
-- The Perfect Programmer
|'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period|
preceding the annual Yuletide celebration, And
throughout our place of residence,
Kinetic activity was not in evidence among the
possessors of this potential, including that
species of domestic rodent known as Mus musculus.
Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward
edge of the woodburning caloric apparatus,
Pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an
imminent visitation from an eccentric
philanthropist among whose folkloric appelations
is the honorific title of St. Nicklaus ...
|Upon the hearth the fire is red,|
Beneath the roof there is a bed;
But not yet weary are our feet,
Still round the corner we may meet
A sudden tree or standing stone
That none have seen but we alone. Still round the corner there may wait
Tree and flower and leaf and grass, A new road or a secret gate,
Let them pass! Let them pass! And though we pass them by today
Hill and water under sky, Tomorrow we may come this way
Pass them by! Pass them by! And take the hidden paths that run
Towards the Moon or to the Sun,
Home is behind, the world ahead, Apple, thorn, and nut and sloe,
And there are many paths to tread Let them go! Let them go!
Through shadows to the edge of night, Sand and stone and pool and dell,
Until the stars are all alight. Fare you well! Fare you well!
Then world behind and home ahead,
We'll wander back to home and bed.
Mist and twilight, cloud and shade,
Away shall fade! Away shall fade!
Fire and lamp, and meat and bread,
And then to bed! And then to bed!
-- J. R. R. Tolkien
|Life is wasted on the living.|
-- The Restaurant at the Edge of the Universe.
| After sifting through the overwritten remaining blocks of Luke's home|
directory, Luke and PDP-1 sped away from /u/lars, across the surface of the
Winchester riding Luke's flying read/write head. PDP-1 had Luke stop at the
edge of the cylinder overlooking /usr/spool/uucp.
"Unix-to-Unix Copy Program;" said PDP-1. "You will never find a more
wretched hive of bugs and flamers. We must be cautious."
|The "cutting edge" is getting rather dull.|
-- Andy Purshottam
|The following quote is from page 4-27 of the MSCP Basic Disk Functions|
Manual which is part of the UDA50 Programmers Doc Kit manuals:
As stated above, the host area of a disk is structured as a vector of
logical blocks. From a performance viewpoint, however, it is more
appropriate to view the host area as a four dimensional hyper-cube, the
four dimensions being cylinder, group, track, and sector.
. . .
Referring to our hyper-cube analogy, the set of potentially accessible
blocks form a line parallel to the track axis. This line moves
parallel to the sector axis, wrapping around when it reaches the edge
of the hyper-cube.
Accept any substitute.
If it's broke, don't fix it.
If it ain't broke, fix it.
Form follows malfunction.
The Cutting Edge of Obsolescence.
The trailing edge of software technology.
Armageddon never looked so good.
Japan's secret weapon.
You'll envy the dead.
Making the world safe for competing window systems.
Let it get in YOUR way.
The problem for your problem.
If it starts working, we'll fix it. Pronto.
It could be worse, but it'll take time.
Simplicity made complex.
The greatest productivity aid since typhoid.
Flakey and built to stay that way.
One thousand monkeys. One thousand MicroVAXes. One thousand years.
|Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this|
big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around --
nobody big, I mean -- except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy
cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go
over the cliff -- I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're
going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I'd do
all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye. I know it; I know it's crazy,
but that's the only thing I'd really like to be. I know it's crazy.
-- J.D. Salinger, "Catcher in the Rye"
|Q: How was Thomas J. Watson buried?|
A: 9 edge down.
|Q: What's the difference betweeen USL and the Graf Zeppelin?|
A: The Graf Zeppelin represented cutting edge technology for its time.
|I myself have dreamed up a structure intermediate between Dyson spheres|
and planets. Build a ring 93 million miles in radius -- one Earth orbit
-- around the sun. If we have the mass of Jupiter to work with, and if
we make it a thousand miles wide, we get a thickness of about a thousand
feet for the base.
And it has advantages. The Ringworld will be much sturdier than a Dyson
sphere. We can spin it on its axis for gravity. A rotation speed of 770
m/s will give us a gravity of one Earth normal. We wouldn't even need to
roof it over. Place walls one thousand miles high at each edge, facing the
sun. Very little air will leak over the edges.
Lord knows the thing is roomy enough. With three million times the surface
area of the Earth, it will be some time before anyone complains of the
-- Larry Niven, "Ringworld"
|Why do mathematicians insist on using words that already have another|
meaning? "It is the complex case that is easier to deal with." "If it
doesn't happen at a corner, but at an edge, it nonetheless happens at a
| COONDOG MEMORY|
(heard in Rutledge, Missouri, about eighteen years ago)
Now, this dog is for sale, and she can not only follow a trail twice as
old as the average dog can, but she's got a pretty good memory to boot.
For instance, last week this old boy who lives down the road from me, and
is forever stinkmouthing my hounds, brought some city fellow around to
try out ol' Sis here. So I turned her out south of the house and she made
two or three big swings back and forth across the edge of the woods, set
back her head, bayed a couple of times, cut straight through the woods,
come to a little clearing, jumped about three foot straight up in the air,
run to the other side, and commenced to letting out a racket like she had
something treed. We went over there with our flashlights and shone them
up in the tree but couldn't catch no shine offa coon's eyes, and my
neighbor sorta indicated that ol' Sis might be a little crazy, `cause she
stood right to the tree and kept singing up into it. So I pulled off my
coat and climbed up into the branches, and sure enough, there was a coon
skeleton wedged in between a couple of branches about twenty foot up.
Now as I was saying, she can follow a pretty old trail, but this fellow
was still calling her crazy or touched `cause she had hopped up in the
air while she was crossing the clearing, until I reminded him that the
Hawkins' had a fence across there about five years back. Now, this dog
is for sale.
-- News that stayed News: Ten Years of Coevolution Quarterly
|Better to stop short than fill to the brim.|
Oversharpen the blade, and the edge will soon blunt.
Amass a store of gold and jade, and no one can protect it.
Claim wealth and titles, and disaster will follow.
Retire when the work is done.
This is the way of heaven.
|The Least Perceptive Literary Critic|
The most important critic in our field of study is Lord Halifax. A
most individual judge of poetry, he once invited Alexander Pope round to
give a public reading of his latest poem.
Pope, the leading poet of his day, was greatly surprised when Lord
Halifax stopped him four or five times and said, "I beg your pardon, Mr.
Pope, but there is something in that passage that does not quite please me."
Pope was rendered speechless, as this fine critic suggested sizeable
and unwise emendations to his latest masterpiece. "Be so good as to mark
the place and consider at your leisure. I'm sure you can give it a better
After the reading, a good friend of Lord Halifax, a certain Dr.
Garth, took the stunned Pope to one side. "There is no need to touch the
lines," he said. "All you need do is leave them just as they are, call on
Lord Halifax two or three months hence, thank him for his kind observation
on those passages, and then read them to him as altered. I have known him
much longer than you have, and will be answerable for the event."
Pope took his advice, called on Lord Halifax and read the poem
exactly as it was before. His unique critical faculties had lost none of
their edge. "Ay", he commented, "now they are perfectly right. Nothing can
-- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
|Teach children to be polite and courteous in the home, and, when they grow up,|
they won't be able to edge a car onto a freeway.
|Sigh. I like to think it's just the Linux people who want to be on|
the "leading edge" so bad they walk right off the precipice.
-- Craig E. Groeschel
No guarantee of accuracy or completeness!
©TU Chemnitz, 2006-2013