|Proverbs, aphorisms, quotations (English)
||by Linux fortune
|Microsoft Mandatory Survey (#15)|
Customers who want to upgrade to Windows 98 Second Edition must now fill
out a Microsoft survey online before they can order the bugfix/upgrade.
Question 15: In your opinion, what companies should Microsoft seek to
acquire in the coming year?
A. Disney. I'd like to see a cute animated movie starring Clippit the
B. CBS. I'd like to see a new line-up featuring must-watch shows like
"Touched by a Microserf", "Redmond Hope", "Everybody Loves Bill", "The
Late Show With Steve Ballmer", and "60 Minutes... of Microsoft
C. Google. Microsoft could drastically improve the quality and performance
of this search engine by migrating it from Linux to Windows NT
D. Lowes Hardware Stores. Every copy of Windows 2000 could come bundled
with a coupon for a free kitchen sink or a free window!
|What Did Santa Claus Bring You In 1999? (#2)|
WEBMASTER OF LINUXSUPERMEGAPORTAL.COM: One of my in-laws gifted me a
CD-ROM containing the text of every "...For Dummies" book ever published.
It's a shame IDG never published "Hiring A Hitman To Knock Off Your
Inlaws... For Dummies", because that's something I'm itching to do. At any
rate, I'm using the CD as a beer coaster.
JESSE BERST: I got a coupon redeemable for the full copy of Windows 2000
when it comes out in February. Win2K is the most innovative,
enterprise-ready, stable, feature-enriched, easy-to-use operating system
on the market. I don't see how Linux can survive against Microsoft's far
superior offering. I ask you: could you get fired for NOT choosing Windows
2000? You bet.
LINUX CONVERT: I kept hinting for a SGI box, but instead my wife got me an
old Packard Bell. Unfortunately, she bought it at CompUSSR, which doesn't
take returns, so I'm stuck with it. I haven't been able to get Linux to
boot on it, so this machine will probably become a $750 paperweight.
No guarantee of accuracy or completeness!
©TU Chemnitz, 2006-2013